


I, Werewolf

by Amuly



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-09
Updated: 2010-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-04 00:27:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 31,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/387625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amuly/pseuds/Amuly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus and Sirius have been together since third year, but as their fifth year draws to a close, still haven’t had penetrative intercourse. Remus is afraid his condition could cause complications, and the literature on the subject is contradictory or bigoted. Will Sirius and Remus ever get to shag? (Answer: Yes.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I, Werewolf

 

Sirius panted, hand trembling as he reached over the bony curve of Remus’ hip. He started stroking Remus’ arousal in time with his thrusts. Remus whimpered in pleasure, twisting his head back to kiss Sirius on the lips.

Breaking for air, he gave Remus’ thighs a little nudge. “Can you…squeeze them together…tighter?”

Remus replied by clenching his thighs, squeezing them tighter around Sirius’ cock. “Better?”

Sirius’ breath hitched. His hips thrust faster into the tight space created by Remus’ thighs, and he moaned loudly. “Good, good…” Leaning forward, he nuzzled at Remus’ neck, nipping at it gently as he continued to thrust. Remus’ breath hitched oh-so-beautifully as Sirius twisted his wrist at the end of a sharp upstroke. Sirius tried the trick again, adding in a thumb pressing down onto the slit. Remus came with a whimpering cry, thighs clenching tighter around Sirius.

It still wasn’t enough to get him off, and as Remus came down from his orgasm, his muscles lost any tightness they had. Sirius grunted in frustration, finally taking himself in hand and jerking sharply. But then Remus was there, lust-blown pupils staring up at him as he removed Sirius’ hand and slid kissed-red lips slowly over the head. 

Sirius flung his head back, one hand automatically flying down to tangle itself in Remus’ hair. It was sweaty and sticking to his head, and with the addition of Sirius’ grip, was now sticking up in all sorts of directions. Remus’ tongue lapped at the head, before he pushed his mouth forward, sucking tightly. With two shallow thrusts Sirius came forcefully, arching off the bed and feet scrambling over the bed sheets.

Remus crawled up Sirius’ body, kissing him briefly before rolling off to the side. Sirius moaned and swallowed hard as his own taste lingered in his mouth after Remus had removed his. Not the time to be getting hard all over again.

“Not to be ungrateful…after _that_ …” Sirius panted. He reached over, slapping a hand unceremoniously down on Remus stomach, and proceeded to stroke at the flesh beneath. Remus just groaned and twitched in response. “But…I really want to…”

“Sirius.” Remus was coming back to himself, Sirius’ words penetrating the haze of orgasm.

But Sirius continued, rushing to speak before Remus could voice his doubts. _Again_. “I don’t even care who’s on top, Remus!” He pulled himself upright, leaning over Remus.

Remus sighed, glancing away from Sirius’ piercing grey eyes. Sirius leaned closer, brushing a hand through Remus’ hair. His hand stilled there, thumb rubbing back and forth over Remus’ temple. Drawn by his gentleness, Remus glanced back up. “I just…I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Sirius’ heart clenched. He pressed himself down and clutched Remus close, wrapping his arms around him in a bear hug. “You can’t hurt me, Remus.” He burrowed his face into Remus’ neck, nuzzling the sweaty skin.

Remus’ hands reached up, stroking the back of Sirius’ neck, smoothing down the hair which was just curling under there. He had decided to start growing it out a few months ago, and it was just starting to gain a sort of casual hang to it. “Yes, I could.”

Sirius sucked in a breath. He pulled back, staring down at Remus. The warm amber eyes conveyed a very real fear. Unable to look at that any longer, Sirius bent his neck and kissed Remus. It was just two quick pecks – Sirius was honestly too exhausted to deepen it.

He slid sideways, laying his head on the pillow next to Remus’. The top of their heads touched, and Sirius smiled at the contact. “How’s the research coming?”

Next to him, Sirius felt Remus shrug. “There’s barely anything out there. One source says we mate for life, another says that’s a myth. One source says it can be sexually transmitted, another says it can’t, a third says it can’t, but that ‘the wolf’s passions overtake the lover, forcing him to bite and infect his partner’. Of course, a fourth source says it can’t be transmitted except at the full…” he sighed. “I don’t know what to believe. And before you even _think_ it,” he bumped his head against Sirius’ in preemptive admonishment, “we aren’t going to be guinea pigs for studies in werewolf sexuality.”

Sirius grinned, lifting a hand and running it down Remus’ side. “Oh, but Moony, I _so_ want to study your sexuality.”

Remus nudged Sirius playfully with his shoulder. “Stop it, Padfoot.” Sirius could practically feel the moment the smile left Remus’ face, even though his eyes were fluttering closed, and gaze fixed on the ceiling. “You can’t get hurt. You just…”

“Shh.” Sirius rolled over, pulling Remus into him. Buried in Sirius’ neck, a little choking sound still made its way from Remus’ throat to Sirius’ ears. He hushed Remus, stroking his hair lightly. “It’ll be alright. Just keep researching, okay? I’ll even help.” He felt Remus grin into his neck.

“Like you would.”

“Really,” Sirius put on his most serious voice, “absolutely. You should know, Moony-kins, if it’s something related to my cock, I’d be glad to research it.”

Remus snorted. “My mouth can attest to that.”

Sirius let his eyes slide closed, planting a kiss to Remus’ temple before he started to drift. “We’ll be fine,” he yawned, “don’t worry.” 

**

“I’m just afraid he doesn’t want me, James.”

James snorted as he skipped another rock across the lake. “I don’t think you two have spent a night in separate beds for a year. And your silencing spells are shit: I can always tell when you cast it instead of Moony.”

Sirius had the good taste to look somewhat ashamed.

“Point is,” James grinned as one of the rocks got close enough to the giant squid for him to move a tentacle lazily, “Remus is crazy about you. You know how he is: always gotta plan stuff out, think it through.”

Sirius shrugged, glancing down at the rocks in his hand. With a despondent sigh he turned his palm down, watching the rocks falling to the ground one by one. “I know. But…” he collapsed onto the ground. His fingers started playing with the grass, plucking out strands of it and pulling them apart. “But, I mean, in one book, we read werewolves mate for life. What if he doesn’t want me for life, and that’s why he doesn’t want to do it?”

James didn’t answer at first, opting instead to skip one more rock across the lake. It fell well short of his last two, and so with a dismissive shrug, he plopped down next to Sirius. “Well, I mean, can you really blame him?” At Sirius’ shocked and hurt expression, James rushed forward. “No, I mean, he’s not even sixteen yet. You are, but, do _you_ even think you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Like, you know, as boyfriends, not just mates?”

Sirius’ eyes flashed briefly. He knew James meant well, but Sirius had a feeling he still didn’t quite _get_ him and Remus. Couldn’t understand how they felt about each other, how Sirius never wanted to be with anyone besides him; how Sirius – in his soppier moments – pictured them growing old together, sitting around a fire, sipping tea and reading books. “Are you sure you want to spend the rest of your life with Lily? If she’d have you?”

“Of course!” James’ face fell as he realized he had just been tricked. “Oh, right. See what you mean.” Sirius knew he didn’t, didn’t really. But at least he was trying. “And, anyway, you only read that in _one_ book, and it was by that racist bloke, right?”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, I guess.” He had torn up a sizable patch of grass in front of him, and moved his hand to his side, so he could keep plucking. “But, what if he doesn’t want me… _like that_?” Sirius made a vague gesture, and James’ face screwed up in disgust. 

“Ugh! Okay, you know, I’m all well and fine with you two being all together, but please, _please_ don’t mention _that_.” James shivered. “How could you even want something in-” he shook his head viciously before he even finished the thought. “Never mind, don’t answer that. Don’t want to know.”

Sirius grinned to himself. Both him and Remus had no problem with that aspect of it. Once Remus had discovered an anatomy book and read about the prostate (Sirius coming to a simultaneous discovery through a dirty muggle magazine he had managed to nick during summer break), the two boys had been eagerly exploring that aspect of the whole act. The first time Remus had managed to find Sirius’ prostate, after several minutes of repeated lube applications and screwed up facial expressions on both boys’ parts, Sirius had come harder than he ever had before. 

_“No, I think it’s more to the left…”_

_ “Quiet, Sirius, you don’t know where it-” _

_ “Fuck!” Sirius arched off the bed. Oh, oh  _ Merlin _. Oh… “Remus, Remus, do it again, do it again_ right now _!”_

_ Remus’ eyes were wide, but he glanced down between them and crooked his fingers again. “Like th-” _

_ “Remus!” Sirius arched off the bed again, pleasure coursing through every nerve in his body. He head never felt  _ anything _so good before. Lightning bolts of pleasure shot from Remus’ fingers throughout his entire body. His cock started weeping, precome dripping down the so recently flaccid member. He had never been so hard, never felt like this…_

_ “Rem, please, more…” he was incoherent, spluttering. His hands scrambled in a confused attempt to grab at Remus forearms. He felt Remus press his fingers forward, rubbing that spot again. “Ah, ah, Rem!” His entire body stiffened as he came, come spurting out of him. Even as the come stopped spilling, his body shook with pleasure, miniature orgasms wracking their way through his system, turning him into a shaking, moaning mess. He never wanted it to end. _

Sirius grinned at the memory. Remus had been shocked: come dripping down his face and staring down, bewildered, at a more than sated Sirius. He had immediately lay down and _demanded_ that Sirius do the same to him.

“Point is,” James was continuing, “Remus, for whatever reason, loves your nob. Like I was saying earlier, those silencing spells aren’t always the best, and from what traumatic noises I’ve gleaned, I reckon Remus wants to do _that_ as much as you do.” 

Sirius grunted, neither in confirmation nor refutation. 

“What if you just, kind of…” James made a vague gesture to match Sirius’ earlier one. “Just _did_ it. I mean, then it would be over, and…”

“No!” Sirius’ head whipped up to stare down James. “It has to be…it’s _Remus_ , James!” 

James immediately backed off the issue, hands raised in defeat. “Alright, alright, it was just a suggestion.”

“This is hopeless, isn’t it?”

James glanced up at Sirius. He watched a grin slowly spread across James’ face at his despair. “Yeah. Looks like you’re doomed to a life of blowjobs and mutual wanks.”

Sirius groaned. He and Remus needed to get this situation sussed, and quickly. Otherwise he was going to go insane.

**

Sirius practically threw the book he was reading across the library. “Alright, somehow these books are managing three-way contradictions. I didn’t even think that was possible.”

Next to him, Remus sighed. He raised his head up from his own book, rubbing his eyes. “It’s called a ‘trichotomy’. Three mutually exclusive options.” 

“I fucking hate it.”

Remus’ neck snapped around to glare at Sirius. “Me too, no reason to get all…” he cut himself off, sighing heavily. “I’m sorry, Siri. I just…”

Sirius’ stomach flipped at Remus’ pained expression. The burning in his chest quickly changed from frustration to love, and he leaned forward, stroking a thumb over Remus’ cheekbone. “It’s alright. I’m sorry. I just want to…”

“I know.” The ghost of a smile flickered over Remus’ face, bringing out a matching expression on Sirius’ own. “I want to, too. But I want to be sure. And safe.”

Sirius leaned forward more, drawing Remus into a kiss. Their tongues flicked out at the same time, lapping at each other lazily. Just as the kiss started to deepen, and Sirius was pressing his tongue into Remus’ mouth, a loud gagging noise forced them apart.

“Seriously, mates, keep it behind closed curtains.” James was sliding into a chair across from Sirius at their secluded table. He had two more books in hand that he dropped onto the table. The librarian hissed at him, but James ignored her. “Two more we haven’t read yet. Find anything in the restricted books?” ****

Remus had been given written permission from Dumbledore and Madame Pomfrey to check out books on werewolves that were sorted in the restricted section of the library. Most of them were there because of their description of “dark creatures”, or because of their testimony by “dark creatures”. Sirius found it fairly insulting on Remus’ behalf, the first time Remus had told him about what he read in one of them: at its worst, the book described one half of what Remus had experienced in his lifetime, between the initial attack and the painful transformation every full. And yet, these were descriptions considered too graphic for Hogwarts students. 

Running a hand through his hair, Remus shared a despondent look with Sirius. “No good. There’s nothing in them that we don’t already know.”

“Or that aren’t outright lies,” Sirius growled. “Honestly, don’t werewolves have sex? We can’t be the first couple of blokes to want to have sex with one of us infected and the other not.” He corrected himself when he saw the looks James and Remus were shooting him. “Well, maybe we’re the first pair of _blokes_. I still say we’re not, but maybe. Still, some werewolf _somewhere_ has got to be having sex with someone who’s not. Right?”

It was with sad resignation that Remus lifted one shoulder and shrugged. “Guess no one ever thought to write anything down.” 

James sighed, patting Remus’ arm in manly commiseration. “Sorry, mate. Me and Pete have been working hard to see if there isn’t a way to get you and Sirius a proper shag.” He gave Sirius and Remus a hearty thumbs-up. Remus puffed out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. Sirius opted for letting his head fall forward onto the table with a loud _thud_ , earning him a disapproving “hush!” from the librarian. 

The table beneath Sirius’ head vibrated slightly as James slid a book across the table to Remus. “This one’s from my dad. He managed to get it on loan from the Ministry. Dunno if it’ll help, but I figured you two would take anything you could get.”

Lifting his head up, Sirius craned his neck to look at the book. Remus was thumbing through it, glancing at the table of contents and index before flipping to a point in the middle of the book. “Thanks, James. This might help.”

Sirius was less gracious. “Doubt it. Look, there: it’s got a quote from that Ramelsworth bloke. He was the one who said that you could transmit all month long, which we _know_ you can’t.”

Remus nibbled his lower lip. “We don’t know that Sirius.” Sirius opened up his mouth to speak, but Remus cut him off. “We _know_ I can’t transfer it to you through blood or…” he blushed, glancing over at James, “ _orally_ ,” he whispered. James dissolved into a coughing fit, and Remus continued on before he recovered. “But who knows? Maybe it _can_ be sexually transmitted. Maybe, some sort of combination of anal tearing and semen, or even sexual magic or something…”

James couldn’t help himself. He started laughing hysterically, face turning bright red with attempted suppressed amusement. Neither Sirius nor Remus were amused. James kept laughing, ignoring the commands to hush from the librarian, glasses slipping down his face to follow the tears of mirth that were tracking down it. “Sorry!” he gasped. Finally, he excused himself, stumbling out of the library, hysterical laughter bouncing off the walls.

As soon as James left, Sirius turned to Remus, grabbing his scarred hands and taking them between his own. “It’s all right, Remus. James is just a twat.”

Remus nodded, looking like he was putting forth a valiant effort toward understanding. But tears started to glisten in his eyes, and before Sirius knew what was happening he was crying. “Remus!”

“S-s-sorry, Sirius,” Remus choked out. He sniffed loudly, drawing mucus up into his nose. Sirius just continued to grip his hands tightly. “It’s just…it’s like this, a-a-nd it’s not going to change. W-we’ll n-never get-t-to…”

“Remus.” Sirius kept his voice stern, trying to keep control over Remus. In reality, he felt his own heart breaking at seeing Remus like this, and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with him and sob until the world became a better place. But that wouldn’t help anything, and so he had to try and be the strong one while Remus broke down. “Remus. We’ll be okay.” He squeezed Remus’ hand again, trying to reassure both Remus and himself. “It’s just all these wankers don’t know two things about werewolves. We just gotta find _one_ person who understands.”

When it looked like Remus wasn’t calming down, Sirius took action. He pushed Remus’ and his own chairs away from the table with his feet and pulled Remus into his lap. Remus folded around Sirius, clutching at the back of his wizarding robes and sobbing into his shoulder. “Do you want to head to the loo? Or back to the dorms?”

With a loud sniffle, and a movement that Sirius was fairly certain was Remus wiping his nose the shoulder of Sirius’ robes, Remus pulled back. He nodded, eyes and face puffy and red. “Yeah. I’m…I’m gonna go back to our room. Could you take care of the books?”

“’Course.” Sirius pulled Remus into a tender kiss: one long, then a second short peck. When he pulled back, Sirius looked Remus dead in the eyes, thumb coming up to wipe away the tears under either eye. “We’re going to get this sussed, Remus. And even if we don’t…” Sirius’ heart was in his throat, but with a quick glance around the library, he pulled Remus into a fierce hug, and whispered into his ear: “I love you, Remus. I’ll never leave you, no matter what.”

In his arms, Remus suddenly tensed, before fresh tears started pouring out of him again and sobs shook his shoulders. He pulled back and kissed Sirius fiercely, gripping both sides of his face in his hands. Sirius kissed back, wrapping his arms tightly around Remus and holding him close: lips to lips, chest to chest, thigh to thigh. As the kiss deepened, Sirius’ hips twitched up of their own accord, pressing up into Remus’. The kiss ended in a gasp as the boys’ arousals met, and Remus shook his head.

“Sirius, I…”

“Don’t.” Sirius clasped a hand over Remus’ mouth. “Don’t say it just because.”

“Mmph!” Remus’ eyes narrowed as he tried to protest beneath Sirius’ hand. Sirius just kept shaking his head.

“Tell me later. If you still want to.”

He removed his hand, cautiously, watching Remus for any attempts at sneak declarations. Remus just pursed his lips, tears drying and eyes becoming less swollen. “Figures, you’d tell me and not let me say it back. Just like you to want to do all the talking.”

Sirius grinned: a small, lopsided thing. “You can make it up to me later,” he murmured. They kissed again, slowly and sweetly, until Remus pulled away.

“I’m going to head back to the dorms, clean myself up.” Remus pointed at the books. “Check out the ones we haven’t read through yet, and bring them all up. Don’t forget the one Mr. Potter got for us.” 

Sirius nodded. “I’ve got it, Remus. Get going.” They kissed again, and then Remus pulled himself up off of Sirius’ lap. He gathered his bag up and hurried out of the library, wiping at his eyes and nose with the sleeve of his robe. Sirius watched him until he rounded a corner and turned out of sight, then turned back to the table and stared at the books. For a moment his vision blurred as tears welled up in his own eyes, but Sirius resolutely pushed them away. He shouldn’t be crying. It was Remus that was the werewolf, Remus who had to deal with it his whole life.

Then why did Sirius feel like he might die every full moon, as he watched Remus change?

Pushing the thoughts and emotions down, Sirius gathered up the books and headed up to the front desk. He checked out two and dropped three into the return slot, before tucking the two into his bag, along with the one James had given them. Sweeping one last appraising eye around the library and over the table where they had been sitting for the past three hours, Sirius started out and back to the dorms.

The hallways were unusually quiet, though Sirius blamed upcoming exams for that. They were only a few weeks away from summer break, though Sirius was certainly _not_ looking forward to it, as most the Hogwarts population was. In just a few short weeks, he would have to return home: back to Grimmauld Place, his hideous mother, his stern father, and his sycophant of a brother. Moreover, he’d be separated from Remus for the full three months. It wasn’t like his parents let him visit his mates over the break: no, he’d have to socialize with the Black family, which meant enduring a string of repulsive parties populated by Slytherin classmates. 

As he waited for a staircase to move into position, Sirius idly toyed with the idea of writing Remus. But he knew his mom screened his mail, so that was out of the question. He could write to James, but Remus…the less his parents knew about his boyfriend, the better. If they were to catch wind of what he was – both his furry problem and what he was to Sirius – there was no telling what they might do. And Remus had to be spared their wrath at all costs.

Some first years ran past him as the staircase clicked into place. Moving at a more sedate pace, Sirius continued his trudge to the Gryffindor dorm rooms. Once he arrived, he managed to muster up a smile for the Fat Lady, who always did love to flirt with him. “Hey. Dragon Eggs, if you please.”

“Oh, Sirius. Running after your man, are you?”

Sirius winked exaggeratedly at the Fat Lady. It never hurt to play along. “Only because he’ll have me and you won’t, you know that.”

With a rather girlish giggle for a woman her age, the Fat Lady swung aside, letting Sirius into the common room. His ears were immediately assaulted with the sounds of… _quiet_. The common room was _quiet_. 

Sirius swept his gaze across the room. There were plenty of students there, sitting in groups with their heads pressed together. But their voices never rose above a whisper, and so the Gryffindor common room had been suddenly transformed into a mirror image of the library.

Shrugging to himself, Sirius continued on up the stairs and into the dorm room he shared with James, Peter, and… “Remus.”

Remus was sitting on his bed, hunched over a piece of parchment. At first Sirius thought it was the map, but as he drew nearer he could see that it was blank, save for a few runes hovering in the air about five centimeters above it. As he approached, Remus muttered something under his breath and swiped away the runes with a quick wand flick. 

“What are you working on?” 

Remus smiled up at Sirius, pushing the parchment aside and patting the bed. “Nothing.”

Sirius sank down onto the bed alongside Remus, kissing him lightly in greeting. “It’s not studying – that looked like the sort of tricks we used to get the map working.” Sirius pulled his legs up under him, and let a hand come to rest on Remus’ knee. It seemed like he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, when Remus was nearby. He just had an overwhelming urge to touch, hold, taste, all the time.

“Well…” Remus grinned up at Sirius mischievously. “It was supposed to be a _surprise_ …” Remus’ glance flickered over to the parchment. “Do you want your year-end present early?”

Sirius’ eyes lit up. “Yes! Of course!” He slapped Remus on the leg. “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

Remus laughed, stretching out to reach for the parchment. “Alright. But you have to be patient: I need another minute or two to finish it up.”

Sirius wiggled himself closer, sliding his hands up Remus’ thighs. “By ‘be patient’ do you mean ‘suck me off’?” His fingertips caressed Remus’ groin, and sure enough, a bulge was beginning to grow beneath cloth. Remus squirmed a little, eyes fluttering.

Somehow, Remus managed to remain resolute in the face of his boyfriend’s fingers – a feat which Sirius never could manage, himself. “No, Sirius. It means be patient and wait for two minutes.” Weakening for just a moment, Remus leaned forward and pecked Sirius’ on the lips. “Now come on, get off. I need to concentrate.”

Sirius sighed but obeyed, throwing himself to Remus’ right and collapsing onto the pillows there. He stared at the canopy ceiling of the bed for all of fifteen seconds, before he turned to watch Remus work.

He really was _beautiful_ like that. Neck bent, exposing the pale expanse of skin on the back of it; golden-brown hair caressing his face as he worked, glancing at different parts of the paper; long, delicate fingers subtly guiding his wand’s movements in the air above the parchment. Sirius couldn’t understand how the whole _world_ didn’t love Remus, didn’t want him. And yet, Remus was his. _His_. Out of everybody, Remus had wanted _him_ : a no-good, prattish offspring of a mostly-mad bloodline. 

“Okay, Sirius. I think I’ve got it.”

Sirius crawled forward, coming to rest against Remus’ side. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I just have to…” Remus tapped his wand on the top of the paper, then pulled it apart. The paper split – not tearing, just pulling apart, like there were two sheets stuck together. Remus handed one of the sheets to Sirius. “Now watch.”

Remus rolled to his side, reaching for his ink and quill which sat on his nightstand. A moment later he was back, unscrewing the ink carefully and handing the cap to Sirius. He dipped his quill in the ink and wrote a quick message on his sheet of paper: “Hello, Padfoot.”

Sirius watched as the message glowed for a moment, then disappeared from Remus’ parchment and reappeared on his own piece. He gasped. “Remus, this is…”

“Here, you try it.” Remus handed Sirius the quill and held the inkbottle for him to dip it in. Sirius wrote on his parchment: “Love you, Moony. Thank you.”

The words appeared on Remus’ parchment a moment later. Remus’ breath hitched, but Sirius was there, kissing him before he could say anything. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” he mumbled into Remus’ lips, like a mantra with the magical abilities to heal all wounds. Tears stung Sirius’ eyes even as he shifted, crawling into Remus’ lap and cupping his face in his hands. Now he wouldn’t have to be alone all summer; now he would be able to talk to Remus. 

“Oi! Guys! Curtains!”

Sirius laughed, rolling off Remus, who looked rather put out by James interrupting them. “James, come here. Check out what Remus got me for end of the year!”

James winced, not moving any closer to the bed. “I dunno, mate. Do I really want to see it, or are you going to show me some sort of freaky sex toy?” He ruffled his hair uncertainly. “Last time I came over to that side of the room, I found Padfoot’s collar in the bed, and Merlin knows I do _not_ want to think about what it was doing in there.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, huffing haughtily. It wasn’t like they had been doing anything _extraordinarily_ kinky with it. Just…wearing it. While they were doing…stuff.

Remus was shaking his head. “I promise, Prongs, it is an entirely appropriate gift. Marauder’s honor.” With a suspicious look still in his eyes, James moved closer to the bed. 

Sirius waved his parchment at James. “Look what Moony did! I write on this page…” he scribbled “Hiya, Prongs” with the ink still left on his quill, “…and it appears on Moony’s page!”

Sure enough, a moment later the piece of paper lying in front of Remus displayed the message. James scratched his chin, nodding thoughtfully. “Is this why you wanted to borrow my mirror shard a few weeks ago?”

Remus nodded, ducking his head. “See? I told you it wasn’t for anything inappropriate.”

“Well…” Sirius was grinning, all teeth and glint, “I can think of a few ways to make this gift debaucherously inappropriate.” 

“Is that even a word?” Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged. “You knew what I meant, didn’t you?”

Remus shot back, “Yeah, but I understand Padfoot’s whines and barks, too – doesn’t make them words.”

Before Sirius could tackle Remus – causing a mess with the ink and possibly traumatizing James _yet again_ when the wrestling evolved into something less innocent – Peter stumbled in the room. “You three coming down to dinner? You’re going to miss it, if you wait much longer!”

Remus cleaned up the quill and ink, then carefully rolled up his sheet and stuck it into his trunk. As they left the room, Sirius grabbed Remus’ wrist and pulled him in for a quick, passionate kiss. “Thank you, really. You have no idea…”

Remus reached a hand up and stroked Sirius’ cheek, a sad smile gracing his lips. “No, I do. That’s why I did it.”

“Oi! You two lovebirds coming to dinner or what?”

With one last grateful look, Sirius hurried down the stairs after James, Remus following.  
  


**

That night, after James and Peter were snoring soundly, Sirius climbed out of his bed and into Remus’. It wasn’t that James and Peter didn’t _know_ what was going on – they just would rather be asleep when it was. Sirius could understand the sentiment: he imagined it would be pretty difficult falling asleep when you knew your mates were buggering in a bed not three meters from your own. Or, more specifically, doing everything _but_ buggering.

Sirius pushed aside the curtains, slipping past them and into Remus’ bed. Remus was waiting there, looking up at him and beaming. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Sirius greeted Remus, then leaned down and gave him a kiss. As they kissed, Remus dropped the book he had been reading to the floor – gently, of course. Remus was already shirtless, wearing just his pajama bottoms. Sirius shucked off his own pajama top quickly, followed by his bottoms. Sirius waved his wand and cast a silencing charm around them hurriedly. Didn’t need James complaining to him in the morning – again.

“Get under the sheets,” Remus giggled, holding up the sheets for Sirius as best he could with Sirius still atop them. “You don’t want James to catch sight of your arse hanging out.” For added emphasis, Remus slapped Sirius on the arse as he crawled under the covers.

Sirius twitched, cock hardening with the slap. “Eh, it’d be good for him: show James what a _real_ arse looks like.”

With Sirius now successfully ensconced beneath the covers, Remus pulled him flush to his body, growl rising from his throat. “No thanks. Don’t want him to get any ideas, try and steal you away from me.”

Sirius groaned, hips moving against Remus’ still cloth-clad ones. “My arse…has that…affect… _fuck_ , get your kit off, will you?” 

Fumbling fingers scraped at too-thin hips as both boys yanked and tore at Remus’ bottoms. Sirius pulled Remus in for a sloppy kiss as flesh met flesh and the two boys rutted against each other, arousals becoming quickly unbearable. “I need to…” Sirius groaned, trying to focus through a haze of arousal and lust. _Fuck_ , Remus felt so good, hot erection throbbing and sliding against his. His pubic hair was sticky with mixed precome, and Remus’ fingers were digging into his arse. Finally he managed to pull away. “Wait, wait, please…”

Remus groaned, and it was a moment before the boys could still their hips, finally pushing away from each other until there was a half-meter between them. “What?”

Merlin, but Sirius did love to see Remus like this. Eyes wide and pupils lust-blown, hair a tangled, sweaty mess, lips red and kiss-swollen. It took all of Sirius’ self-control to not press himself to Remus and finish up right then and there. “I…” he swallowed, breathing in gulps of air. “I want to…thank you for my gift. Properly.”

Remus arched an eyebrow, waiting for Sirius to tell him what to do. Sirius pulled Remus into him and kissed him again, until a mumbled, “Remus, roll over,” fell from his lips.

Immediately, Remus’ whole body stiffened, and he stopped kissing Sirius. “Sirius…”

Sirius pulled back from Remus, frowning down at him. “Remus, I’m not going to…”

Remus shifted, looking embarrassed. “I know. But…can’t you just, do whatever you’re going to from the front?”

For a moment Sirius didn’t say anything. His brain was having trouble processing exactly what it was Remus was saying. “Wait…do you think I’d…I’d pull something over on you?!”

Remus’ eyes widened. Serves him right, thinking Sirius would do that. “No! No! I just think…in the heat of the moment…”

Well, that just…Sirius rolled off of Remus, ignoring both of their aching erections. “I think I’ll have a wank in the shower, Remus. But please don’t walk up behind me: I’m afraid you might just shove it in.”

“Sirius!” But Sirius was already climbing off the end of the bed, fully intent on running off to the shower. At the last moment Remus grabbed him, pulling him back onto the bed as he disturbed the curtain. “Sirius, sit down! First of all, James would probably be traumatized if you walked through the room like…” he stared pointedly at Sirius’ erection, “like that. Listen, I’m sorry,” Remus cupped Sirius’ face in his hands, staring into his eyes.

Sirius sighed, staring back. “Fine, fine. I mean, I know you don’t want to, and you know I want to, but that doesn’t mean…”

“I know, Sirius. I trust you. Sorry.” Remus darted forward and pecked at Sirius’ lips. Sirius grinned at the gesture: so chaste, compared to what they had just been doing. He moved to deepen it quickly, thrusting his tongue into Remus’ mouth and shoving him back onto the bed. Remus laughed into Sirius’ mouth, but that quickly turned to groaning as Sirius slipped a hand between them and fisted their arousals together. “You still want me to roll over?”

Sirius pulled back, nodding solemnly. “Please. And I promise…”

Remus nodded. “I know, Sirius.” He reached up and pulled Sirius down for one last snog, then rolled onto his stomach. 

Sirius sighed, staring down at Remus’ back. There were so many scars – so much pain. He just wanted to erase all of that pain from Remus’ life, forever. 

Sucking on his index finger, Sirius’ slipped it between Remus’ cheeks and pressed gently at his entrance. “That’s my finger.” 

Face pressed to the pillow, Remus nodded. He canted his hips upward, in invitation. 

Sirius took a breath. He hadn’t told Remus his real motivation for getting him to turn over. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to do it _himself_. But that muggle rag had promised him that it felt _amazing_ , and that his boyfriend would thank him for it afterward. Sirius was taking a chance, trusting the magazine’s advice, but it had made suggestions to him that had worked before, so he thought he’d give this a go, too.

“Alright, Remus. I’m going to try something different. But I won’t…”

Remus nodded, still facedown. “Go ahead. I trust you.”

Taking one more breath, Sirius leaned down. Gently he pulled apart Remus’ cheeks with his hands. He waited there a moment, staring at the small, furled entranceway in front of him. Squeezing his eyes shut, he stuck out his tongue, and _licked…there…_

“Sirius!”

Remus jumped a meter into the air, giving Sirius a face-full of Remus arse before he pulled away. “It was my tongue! Just my tongue!”

“Padfoot!” James’ voice barely reached them above the silencing charm, but it managed. With a worried look between himself and Remus, Sirius lifted the charm.

“James?”

“I have no _fucking clue_ where your tongue just was that you had to reassure Moony _so bloody loudly_ that it was ‘just your tongue’, but I _never, ever_ want to know! Get Remus to do your bollocksing silencing charms before I kill the both of you!” 

Sirius and Remus stared at each other, wide-eyed. Both were equally horrified that James had managed to hear Sirius’ shouted reassurances over Sirius’, apparently, poorly cast silencing spell. As Sirius shouted “Sorry, sorry Prongs! So sorry!” Remus recast the spell, a great deal better than Sirius had. 

Sirius was blushing furiously. He glanced up, only to see Remus looking as red as he felt. “Sorry. I, I heard it felt good, so I thought I’d…”

Sirius slowly trailed off. Remus’ expression had begun to turn upward in increments as he talked, until he was sporting a goofy grin. “Well, I didn’t say it was _bad_.” He continued to grin. “Just a bit…shocking. You could have warned me!”

Seeing that Remus was okay with it gave Sirius the confidence to smile back. “Sorry. Wanted it to be a surprise.”

With an adorable little huff, Remus turned himself over and waggled his bum. “Well, you can apologize by doing that again.”

Less hesitation slowing him down this time, Sirius parted Remus’ cheeks again. Sticking his tongue out, he licked at the entrance. Remus’ body tensed, before he let out a low moan as the muscles relaxed incrementally. “Again. Please.”

Sirius tried again, licking at the entrance more firmly. Remus moaned louder, hips twitching backwards. The little twitch and the sounds Remus was making was enough to urge Sirius forward. He pressed his tongue forward, pushing against the muscle. There was a moment of tension, and then Remus was relaxing, and Sirius’ tongue slid inside him.

A loud cry split the air. Sirius could hear Remus’ hands grabbing at the sheets, clenching and unclenching them for lack of anything else to do with them. He tried pushing his tongue further in, then pulling it out. Remus seemed to like that, and so he pushed his tongue back in. A long, shuddering moan spilled out of Remus’ body. Sirius pushed his tongue in and out, simulating what he so wanted to do with other parts of his body. 

Remus was canting his hips backward and forward, and it was a moment before Sirius released he was rutting against the sheets, searching for release. Bringing one hand up to wrap around Remus’ arousal, and leaving the other on his arse, kneading the flesh there, Sirius started to stroke Remus in time with his tongue’s thrusts. Doing that, it was only a matter of half a dozen strokes before Remus came, crying out before falling flat on the bed with a whimper.

Wiping the back of a hand across his mouth, Sirius crawled up to the pillows. He settled himself down next to Remus, watching the young man next to him. His eyes were closed, breaths coming in quick little pants. He looked so _beautiful_ like that: hair sticking to his face with sweat, golden eyelashes curled on his cheeks, cheekbones flushed with spots of red. Sirius wanted to devour Remus, to consume every part of him until nothing could separate them, until he could be with Remus every second of the day.

It appeared to take Remus a great effort to pry his eyes open and look at Sirius. “That…that was…”

“Good?” Sirius raised an eyebrow.

Remus nodded. “But…it can’t…I mean, the taste…” Remus looked a bit shame-faced. “You could have told me you were going to do that. I would have…I dunno…washed more? Inside?”

Sirius burst out laughing. He smacked his lips together. “Well, you tasted pretty clean.”

Remus’ nose wrinkled. “Ugh. Gross.”

“Hey, I was the one who just had his tongue-”

“I’m _aware_ of were your tongue was, Sirius.” 

The two boys stared each other down for a long moment, before cracking up simultaneously. 

“Do you mind if I don’t…do _that_ …” 

One look at Remus’ expression, conveying his trepidations, and Sirius was shaking his head. “No, not if you don’t want to. I just heard it was nice, and thought maybe you’d like it.” More seriously, Sirius continued, “I won’t make you do something you don’t want to.” 

Remus’ eyes softened, losing some of their mirth. “I know, Sirius. I’m sorry.” He glanced down between them, then met Sirius’ eyes again. His eyes were dancing with mischief. “Want me to make it up to you?”

All too soon exams were over, and the four boys were sitting on the Hogwarts Express, barreling their way through the English countryside and back to London. Sirius never thought he’d be so sorry to see exams end. They had managed to commandeer a compartment for themselves, nudging two snogging second years out. Remus sat next to the window, Sirius next to him. They held hands, leaning in opposite directions: Remus against the window, Sirius against the partition. They weren’t looking at each other, but the slow stroke of Remus’ thumb over the back of his hand told Sirius how upset he was. Remus never moved his fingers unless he was upset.

“…And mom said we’d probably take a trip to France this summer. She wanted to do a whole tourist thing: Versailles, the Louvre, all that. Says I need some more ‘culture’.” Peter took a breath, glancing out the window. “When’s the bloody trolley going to show up? I’m starved.”

“We just ate.” James, trying to sleep in the corner of the train, grumbled and swatted at Peter. 

Peter nodded at Sirius and Remus. “I’m going to hunt down some snacks. You guys want anything? Chocolate frog, Moony?”

Remus lifted his head from the window with a distracted hum. “Hm? No. Thanks, Wormtail. M’fine.”

Sirius shook his head, not even bothering to lift it. 

Peter made a little disgruntled noise, then twacked James on the arm. “Hey, come with me. Help me carry the food.”

James grumbled, turning to Peter. “Can’t I just have a kip on the…” he paused, glancing between the other two boys. “Nevermind. Sure, I’ll come along.” With a stretch and a cracked neck, James followed Peter out of the compartment.

Sirius waited a beat after the door closed, then tugged on Remus’ hand. “C’mere.”

Remus pulled away from the window, into Sirius’ chest. They lay there for a moment, stroking each other. Sirius breathed in Remus’ scent, nose pressed to his golden-brown hair. He tried to ignore the tears stinging his eyes. “’M gonna miss you.”

Beneath his chin, Remus’ head moved. “I’m sorry you have to go back to that place. To your home.”

“You’re my home.” Sirius gripped Remus tightly, crushing him to his chest. They lay there for a long moment, on the bench inside the Hogwarts Express.

Finally, Remus shifted again. When he spoke, his voice was no more than a whisper, but Sirius could here him clear as ever. “I love you.”

Sirius’ breath hitched, and his grip tightened around Remus even more. Another squeeze, and he might end up crushing the younger man. “You don’t have to…”

In his arms, Remus struggled for a moment, finally succeeding in pulling away. He stared Sirius straight in the eyes, hands coming up to clutch at his face. “But I do. I love you, and I’d give anything to not have you go back there for the summer.” Through a veil of tears Sirius watched as Remus choked up. “Couldn’t you…come and live with me? We don’t have much room, but you could kip on the couch, or my room…”

But Sirius was already shaking his head. “I…I can’t, Remus. I _want_ to, but I just…” He couldn’t explain it to Remus. His family wouldn’t let him leave the house the whole summer, except to go to approved social events. There was no way they’d let him stay at a friend’s house, and Remus… “They can’t know about you, Remus. They already know James, but that’s because he’s a _Potter_. He’s safe. You…” Sirius blinked, feeling tears spill down his cheeks, “you’ve got too much to lose. If they start looking in to you, and find out…” He pulled Remus back into him, hugging him fiercely. “I can’t lose you, Remus. They’d take you away from me, away from Hogwarts. And I can’t let that happen.”

Remus pulled back again, only to lean in and kiss Sirius. They moaned into each other’s mouths, though if it was passion or from grief, neither boy could tell. Finally Remus broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against Sirius’. “Just…keep your head down. Don’t make a fuss. We’ll talk through the parchment, and summer will be over before you know it.”

“Look at me,” Sirius grumbled, “Eager to get back to school. Who would have guessed?”

“Guess I am a good influence on you after all, huh?”

Sirius nipped at Remus’ lips. “Only took a year as a prefect to manage that.”

The door slid open, then, letting in a pocket-stuffed Peter and James. For the rest of the ride, the boys traded insults, playing cards, and chocolates. The whole time, Sirius never let go of Remus’ hand.

As they exited the train, baggage in tow, Sirius looked around. Further up, he spotted Regulus stepping off, surrounded by some other Slytherin boys. Turning to his friends, Sirius nodded curtly. “Alright, mates. Be seeing you in three months. Do everything I would do, and then some.” He saluted Peter, shook James’ hand, and then was left standing in front of Remus.

The boys shifted awkwardly, eyes darting around the busy platform. “I’ll miss you,” Sirius said.

“Every day,” Remus whispered back.

“It’s not so bad.” Sirius forced a grin on his face. “After all, we can send each other dirty messages and wank. Summer’ll fly by.”

Remus’ laugh came out more like a sob. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Sirius.” Regulus was there now, eyeing Remus’ threadbare robes and weathered school trunk disdainfully. “Mother will be waiting.”

“Sure thing, Reg. Come on.” Sirius moved to wrap an arm around his younger brother, but he just slid away. With one last glance at a forlorn Remus, Sirius turned around and headed off with Regulus. “How were classes, this year?”

“Fine.” Regulus seemed to have been practicing his aristocratic walk: straight back, chin up, eyes peering haughtily down at everyone he walked past. “Passed them all, mostly O’s and E’s. Yourself? You took OWLs this year, didn’t you?”

Sirius shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah. Passed.”

“Good.”

They pushed their way through the barrier, emerging on the other side. And there stood their mother: regal in all her insanity. Their house elf was with her, scurrying forward to help with the boys’ luggage. 

“Kreacher’s so _happy_ to have the young masters home…” 

Sirius ignored him. “Mother.”

“Son.”

Twin grey eyes met as Sirius and Walburga stared each other down while they exchanged preliminaries. It was with a start that Sirius realized he was taller than her: Sirius always pictured his mother as towering over him, a fearsome force to be reckoned with. Now, she just looked…short.

“Kreacher! Have you finished with the bags?”

Kreacher reappeared with a _pop_ , hands and arms empty. “Yes, mistress. Kreacher dropped off the bags in the young masters’ rooms.”

“Take them home. I have things to do.” She spared one last look at her two sons. “Behave yourselves, this summer.” Her gaze drifted to Sirius, and suddenly her lack of height was no matter in the face of the insanity that glinted behind her eyes. “We have important parties to attend to, this summer.” And with a _crack_ she turned on the spot and disapparated, leaving the two boys alone with Kreacher.

“Well, Reg, excited for the parties?” Sirius quipped.

To his surprise, Reg looked his older brother up and down, as if assessing him. “Yes. The Malfoy’s and I were in some serious talks about business ventures before the school year ended, and I’m eager to see them again so we can continue our discussions.”

Sirius’ face scrunched up in disgust. “Ugh! Listen to yourself, Reg. You can’t be…”

Sirius had forgotten about Kreacher, until he grabbed both their arms and disapparated them back to 12 Grimmauld Place. A loud gasp filled the air, and it took Sirius a second to realize that it came from him as he stumbled in their entranceway. He spun around ready to yell at Kreacher for interrupting him, but the wretched little miscreant was already gone. Frowning, Sirius opened his mouth and turned to Regulus, but _he_ had already gone as well, racing up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Probably to go discuss his _business ventures_ ,” Sirius snorted. “Is that what they’re calling it these days?” He trudged up to his room, reluctant to accept his two month long prison sentence. As he walked past Regulus’ room, Sirius banged on the door. “Hey, I think I’m going to go to my room and send Remus an owl about discussing some _business_ _ventures_ with him.” He paused, ear to the door, as he waited for a reply. None was forthcoming, though Sirius was fairly certain he heard a quill pause in its scratching on parchment. Encouraged, he continued, “And by _business venture_ I mean sex. So, I’m going to go to my room and discuss sex with Remus.” He paused again: nothing. “And by ‘discuss sex with Remus’, I don’t mean the discussion is just with him. The sex we will be discussing is with each other, too.” Still no response from behind the heavy wooden door. Sirius sighed, finally giving up on getting a rise from his little brother. “Yeah, well, lot more fun than discussing _actual_ business ventures,” he grumbled, finally dragging his feet in the direction of his bedroom.

With a heavy sigh, Sirius flopped himself down on his bed and stared at the ceiling. Heavy tapestries covered the posters of muggle women he had pasted up last summer – even in the face of Remus’ frantic worries and pleas. Grumbling, he hauled himself off the bed and ripped down the tapestries, leaving them where they fell. Not like he really cared to see those squishy bodies all over his room, but he could never pass up an opportunity to irritate mother.

Sirius settled back onto his bed, pulling the parchment out of his pocket as he did. It was glowing with a message already.

_84 days left. Hang in there._

_ Love you, Pads. Love you love you love you. _

_ _ Sirius beamed down at the parchment, denying the tears filling his eyes. Reaching into his bedside drawer, he pulled out an old inkpot and quill.

_Love you, too._

_ And please, don’t remind me of how many days it is. I think that makes it worse. _

** 

Two weeks. Two weeks, and Sirius thought he might be going mad. 

Two weeks trapped in this house, with that _woman_ he called a mother, and that _man_ he called a father, and that sniveling little shit that used to be his brother. Two weeks of parties, and dinners, and dances, and fucking Kreacher bowing and scraping and sneering at Sirius every chance he got.

Two weeks without Remus. Two weeks since Sirius had seen him smile, or laugh, or frown over a piece of parchment, or come, blissful expression painting his beautiful features even more so…

Two weeks of hell.

And ten more to go.

**

Sirius wanted to slam his door shut, sick to death of deferring to his parents. But he didn’t, because slamming a door (damaging the doorframe) would just earn him yet another punishment. He satisfied his anger by throwing himself on his bed, and slamming his face down onto his pillows a few times.

Parchment crinkled beneath his head butts, and Sirius shoved his hand under the pillow, yanking out his and Remus’ secret message tool. He grabbed the quill and ink he had ready on his nightstand and scribbled on the parchment. 

_Moony, love, you there?_

_ _ He didn’t have to wait a minute before a response appeared.

_I’m here. Are you alright?_

_ Same as ever. _ Sirius grumbled even as he wrote the words. Still in that same festering corpse of a house that he’d been in for the past two weeks.

_I’m sorry._

Sirius gnawed on his thumb, wondering what to write next. He could tell Remus about the horrid dinner he had just come from, how his mad cousin Bella had tried to seduce him, disgusting incestuous girl that she was. He thought about telling Remus about the fight he had with his parents, _again_ , over the issues of his courting and financial opportunities. But he didn’t want to drag Remus into his world, so instead he just wrote:

_Tell me a story. Doesn’t even have to be dirty. Just something._

There was a pause, then words started filling the page. Sirius lay back against his crushed pillows and read.

_There was once a young prince. He had beautiful grey eyes, like thunderclouds on a summer’s day. And his hair was black like the night sky. He was kind, and smart, and devilishly handsome. But he was locked in a tower, and couldn’t get away. He tried and he tried, but no matter what he did, the locks wouldn’t break, and the bars wouldn’t rust, and the windows wouldn’t shatter._

_ There was another young prince. This prince had brown hair, and amber eyes. He was in a different sort of prison. His body was his prison, and would capture and hold him every month, just like the prince in the tower. _

_ One day, the grey-eyed prince was looking out, trying to see the world outside his room. And he saw the other prince – and he fell in love. He called out to the amber-eyed prince “Who are you?” But the prince did not reply. His body was capturing him, stealing him away, and so he could not. _

_ The next day the grey-eyed prince looked out again, in the hopes of seeing his amber-eyed prince again. And he did. And so the handsome prince called out to him again: “Who are you?” And the amber-eyed prince’s body behaved, and did not steal him away, and lock him in his prison. And so he was able to go up to the foot of the grey-eyed prince’s tower, and shout back: “I am the prince of amber eyes, with a body that imprisons, and a heart that longs to break free. Who are you?” _

_ They prince in the tower replied: “I am the prince of grey eyes, with a tower for a prison, and a heart that belongs to you.” _

_ The amber-eyed prince heard this and felt his heart leap. And suddenly, his body wasn’t as harsh a warden, and he was able to help the grey-eyed prince. He stole the prince of the tower away from there, and they ran off together. And the grey-eyed prince could help ease the prison of the prince with the amber eyes’ body, and together they eased each other’s hurt, and loneliness, and captivity. _

_ And so they lived happily ever after.  _

_ The end. _

Sirius waited a long moment before writing back, staring at the words on the page, trying to memorize them. Suddenly his grip tightened around the parchment, and he scrambled under the bed for a specific box of parchments. Eventually he found them: parchments him and James had spelled to copy other pieces of parchment. He pulled one piece out, then pressed it to the parchment which still displayed Remus’ story. As he pulled it away, the words transferred from one piece of parchment to the next. It was a handy spell the boys had sussed second year for copying notes from one another.

Rolling the parchment containing Remus’ story carefully, Sirius stowed it under his pillow. Finally he wrote back:

_You left out the part about how beautiful the amber-eyed prince was._

_ _ Even across hundreds of kilometers, Sirius could feel Remus’ blush.

_I’m not a narcissist, like some._

Sirius grinned down at the parchment. This felt good – this felt _right_. Bantering with Remus, joking around. _That_ was home for Sirius, _that_ was happiness. Not this hideous place, with its ancient, dark magic around every curtain and chandelier. 

The floorboards outside his room creaked, and Sirius froze, every nerve-ending wired as he listened for further noises. He held his breath until his lungs felt fit to burst, but still nothing. After two minutes his parchment was glowing at him: a soft, pulsing light, telling him that were new messages from Remus on there. Finally, satisfied that there was no one outside his room, Sirius picked up the paper.

_Padfoot? Padfoot?_

_ Padfoot, I was just teasing.  _

_ Padfoot? _

_ Padfoot, I love you. I was just teasing. _

_ Padfoot, are you there? _

_I’m going to stop messaging, Padfoot, but I’m still here, if you need me. I’ve got the paper with me in bed: message at any time._

Sirius grabbed his quill and scribbled on the paper. 

_Sorry, sorry! I wasn’t mad: I thought I heard a noise._

Remus’ relief was palpable in his next sentence: _Oh, good. You had me worried. Was the noise anything?_

_ _ Sirius shook his head subconsciously as he wrote. _No. Just the house – you know how it is._ He gnawed on his lower lip for a moment before adding: _I think I’m going to bed now. I’m wrecked after all the parties and everything._

_ _ A pause, then Remus’ reply appeared. _That’s alright. Guess I’ll have to wank without your help, tonight._

_ _ Sirius grunted and shifted, erection growing in his pajama bottoms. Great. Now all he could think of was Remus wanking. _Wait!_ Sirius ran a hand through his hair, considering. He really _was_ exhausted. But he couldn’t have Remus wanking alone in his room – even if the parchment was poor substitute for Sirius actually being there with him. In the end, Remus took the decision out of Sirius’ hands.

_I’m already hard, Padfoot. My left hand is all sticky with precome._

Fuck. Without a second’s thought, Sirius’ left hand dove beneath his sheets and pajama bottoms, tugging a firm path up his shaft. It had been awkward at first, trying to wank with their left hands. But the only other options were either write with their left, which neither Sirius nor Remus had managed to make legible, hard as they tried; or, alternate wanking and writing, so that one would write, the other wank, and then they’d switch off. The problem with that was that neither was even patient enough to finish their dirty descriptions before he stopped to have a wank, and the boy on the other side of the parchment was always left waiting.

_Me too, Moony. Keep going._

_ I already wrote loads tonight. It’s your turn. _

_ _ Sirius grumbled, but thought for a moment, hand stilling over his arousal. Finally he dipped his quill in ink and started writing.

_If I were there, I’d go down on you. Suck you into my mouth, back into my throat. I’ve been practicing controlling my gag reflex. When I see you again, first thing we’re gonna do is you’re gonna fuck my throat._

_ _ Sirius’ breath hitched, and he allowed himself a quick break to let his eyes flutter closed as he thrust his hips gently up into his hand. The bed sheets moved above his body, making what he was doing obvious. He dipped his quill again and kept writing. _Love it when you come down my throat. Love the taste of it. Love the smell of you when I’m down there, sucking you dry._

_ _ Sirius groaned, pausing writing again. He was imagining the scenes he was writing: sucking Remus, the taste of him on his tongue, the feel of that hot piece of flesh, heavy on his tongue.

_Close, Moony._

A moment later, Remus wrote back. _Me too. What about my balls?_

_ _ Shit. Sirius’ eyes snapped shut as he pictured sucking Remus’ balls into his mouth, individually, and then the whole sack. Rolling it around in his mouth, tasting them…

_I’ll suck…_ Sirius had to pause there as his hips twitched and spasmed in their rhythm. Not quite, but almost… _into my mouth. Roll around. Tastes good_ …

Sirius dropped the quill, fisting his cock rapidly as his orgasm approached. Within a few sharp tugs he came, hips thrusting sharply up against the bed sheets. He cupped his hand over the head, catching the come as it came spurting out. A moment later, and he was collapsing against his pillows, sweaty and panting. With a grumble he kicked the sheets off of him and lay there, basking in the cool night air of his bedroom.

The page was glowing at him again. Sirius leaned over the side of the bed and rummaged around until he found a dirty sock. He wiped his hand off on it, then rolled back over and grabbed for the parchment.

_Came._

_ _ Sirius grinned. _Me too._

Now Sirius really _was_ exhausted, and his eyelids started to droop. He picked up his no-spill inkpot (thank goodness, otherwise his sheets would be covered with ink stains by now) and scribbled a quick message. _Wiped me out. I’m going to bed. Night Moony._

_ Night, Padfoot. Love you. _

Sirius smiled down at the sheet, fingers brushing gently over the words there. 

_Love you, too_. With that, Sirius tossed aside his ink and quill, and curled up with his sheet of parchment, falling fast asleep.

**

Three weeks. Sirius jiggled his leg at the table as he stared at the clock on the mantelpiece. Moonrise. Remus would be locked up in his parent’s basement, tearing at himself, trying desperately to be free. Would Moony know what to do without Padfoot? He hadn’t spent a moon without Padfoot since Sirius had succeeded with the change. Would it be worse? Would his parents take care of his injuries? But that was silly, of course they would: they had been tending to Remus long before Sirius…

“Sirius? Sirius!”

Sirius jumped, rattling the fine china and silverware that covered the dinning room table. His mother was glaring down at him, eyes shooting venom.

“Sorry. What?”

The adults, and their children, around the table snickered at him. There was no lack of haughty looks thrown his way. He was a _Gryffindor_ , which meant he was more balls than brains, according to the Slytherins seated here. 

His mother pulled her shoulders back, chin jutting out haughtily. “Your cousin, Bellatrix, asked you a question.”

Sirius turned and gaped owlishly at Bellatrix, sitting one person down from him. “I was just wondering if you’d be my escort to the Malfoy’s ball, in a month?” Sirius cringed. Bellatrix was all smiles and politeness, but in her eyes…that way lay madness. There was sort of a crazed intensity to her, like lightening in a bottle. He was certain the moment anyone unleashed her, she’d destroy everyone she touched.

Sirius glanced back to his mother. She was raising her eyebrows, in that spine-chilling look of matronly reproach. “Um…”

His father cut in. “Of course he’ll be. Won’t you, Sirius?”

Sirius’ eyes darted around. The entire bloody table was staring at him: Bellatrix and her sisters, the Malfoy clan, his mother, father and brother…Sirius felt like the air had been suddenly sucked out of the room. The clock kept ticking in the corner, as if in steady reproach: _Re-mus. Re-mus. Re-mus. Full-moon. Full-moon. Full-moon. Re-mus. Full-moon. Re-mus. Full-moon. Re-mus. Full-moon…_

Sirius bolted upright, sending his chair clattering backwards. “I…um. Excuse me.”

He raced out of the room, leaving confusion and condescending laughter in his wake. 

Sirius stopped once he reached the stairway, leaning heavily on the banister. His blood thrummed through his ears. All he could think of was Remus: how much he must be hurting, how he couldn’t help, how badly Sirius wanted to be in his arms, or have Remus in his.

“Sirius Orion Black! What do you think you’re doing?” His mother’s voice screeched at him as she approached. He turned to look at her, and spotted his father following her closely. 

“Young man, let’s adjourn to my study.”

Bollocks. Nothing good ever happened in Orion Black’s study. But Sirius had no choice, and so he followed his parents up the stairs and down the hallway. As Orion shut the door behind them, Sirius could swear the click of the door was really the final click of his deathwatch beetle.

He stood, feeling much shorter than his newly gained height. His father was standing behind his desk, his mother next to him. “Son. We need to talk about marriage. You are the heir to the House of Black. We need to find a suitable match for you, and quickly.” His father paused, inclining his head toward his wife, before continuing. “Your mother tells me that the Malfoy boy is courting Narcissa. You would do well to court her sister, Bellatrix.”

His mother nodded, breaking in. “Your children would have lovely cheekbones.”

Sirius gaped at them. “But…but I can’t! I…”

His father took a breath, then started forward, around his desk. It was the closest Sirius had stood to his father in years. “Sirius, it’s time you understand. These marriages aren’t for you to decide. Whatever _things_ you might have been doing at school,” he paused, lips curling upward delicately, “they are to be left at school.”

“Regulus told you, didn’t he?” Sirius was panicking now, chest heaving. So many of the other students knew about him and Remus, especially after the new Gryffindor locker room rule. Pretty much the entire student body knew, by then. It was sure to have gotten over to the Slytherins. And Snivellus certainly knew – Sirius might have let him catch him and Remus at it a few times, just for laughs. “Well, I don’t care what you think! I…I’m with Remus!”

Cold fear rippled through Sirius’ body as he stood in front of his father. His mother still stood behind the desk, barely-restrained insanity crackling behind her eyes. His father, however, did nothing more than shrug. “Is this Remus a schoolmate you have a crush on? Whoever she is, you can be with her all you want. Just marry Bellatrix.”

“Him!” Sirius shouted, before he could think. “Remus is my best mate! And I love _him_!”

Orion Black shrugged. “Then be with him.”

Sirius stopped. A clock ticked somewhere in the room, telling Sirius every second that Remus was spending alone this full moon. His mother and father stood there, regarding him coolly, as the sounds from the dinner party tinkled up the stairs to them.

“I…what?”

Orion Black sighed, shaking his head. “As old as you think you are, you are still such a boy in the ways of the world. I have two mistresses on the side. Stay with this Remus fellow, if you want. But marry Bellatrix.”

Sirius’ eyes immediately flickered back to his mother, who was standing there, impassively. He almost felt a rush of pity for her. But the madness was still there, behind her eyes, and it was with ease that he suppressed the emotion.

“I’m…I’m not going to do that!” Sirius spluttered.

His father raised a cool eyebrow. “Marry Bellatrix?”

Sirius shook his head, vehemently. It was all so confusing. He hadn’t expected this, for his parents to not even _care_ about him and Remus. This blasé acceptance, followed by their expectations of him…Sirius didn’t know what to do with it.

“No, I won’t keep Remus as a mi- a mistress.”

His father shrugged. “Fine, this Remus fellow doesn’t matter. So it’s agreed.” He clapped his hands together, turning toward Walburga before facing Sirius again, “You’ll be Bellatrix’s escort to the Malfoy’s-”

“No!” Sirius shouted. “I’m not letting go of Remus! I love him, and I’m not going to push him to the side for a wife!”

Walburga stepped forward now, all barely-restrained venom. “We’re not asking you to _love_ Bellatrix. Just make sure the Black family has heirs.”

Sirius looked between father and mother. His father was stern, calm, regal; his mother, mad but beautiful, with her high cheekbones and flashing grey eyes. They were his _parents_ : he looked like them, he moved like them, sometimes he knew he could even have his mother’s temper, and his father’s haughty disdain. But _he_ wasn’t _them_. He _wasn’t_. 

“I…I can’t do that.”

His mother started forward, hand raised to strike. Sirius flinched instinctively, but the angry blow never came. His father reached out and held her back, with a gentle hand to her elbow. “Fine,” he said. “If you don’t want to marry, produce heirs…” he paused, glancing over at his wife, “then you are disowned.”

Sirius glanced between them. What was this? Some sort of test?

His father was continuing. “Disownment means no money, no inheritance, no social support. You and that Remus fellow of yours better be capable of getting Ministry jobs without our familial connections, otherwise you can expect to be living in some dingy flat in some forsaken part of the country.”

“Like _Wales_ ,” his mother hissed. 

Suddenly coming to a decision, Sirius threw his shoulders back. “Fine!” The clock tick-tocked in the background, urging him on. _Re-mus. Re-mus. Re-mus_. “Disown me! I don’t care!”

He ran out of the room, straight up to his. The sounds of the dinner party downstairs still drifted up to him as he packed. There were no distinct words, but he could tell the tone of them: superior, proud. Everything he hated about his family and their relatives. Everything he hated about his life.

He grabbed his school trunk out from under his bed and started shoving everything he could into it. Lastly he grabbed his and Remus’ enchanted parchment and tucked it into the waistband of his jeans. No way was he taking a chance with that. He grabbed his wand, shucked on a robe, and was out the door. His owl would find him wherever he went.

He stormed down the steps and to the entranceway, only to be stopped by Regulus, of all people. “Regulus, what are you doing?” 

His little brother jut his chin out. “I could ask the same of you.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Cut the aristocrat act, Regulus, and get out of my way. I’m leaving.”

“But…” Just for a moment, Regulus’ eyes flickered, and an expression of true concern crossed his face. “Sirius, if you leave, you can’t ever come back.”

“I’m counting on it.” With that, Sirius shoved past his little brother and out the door to 12 Grimmauld Place.

**

He had planned on walking a ways, but Sirius quickly realized that the size and weight of his trunk was making that impossible. So he hauled it to the edge of the curb and pulled out his wand, to signal the Knight Bus.

There, he paused for a moment. Where would he go? There were only three places, since he didn’t have any money for a room at the Leaky Cauldron: James, Remus, or Peter. Peter was traveling abroad with his folks, so that ruled him out – as if Sirius had any desire to spend his summer with Wormtail. Remus…Sirius shook himself. He couldn’t go to Remus’. Not only was it a full moon tonight, but he could never impose on Remus’ folks like that. They didn’t have a spare bedroom, and though they might not be _poor_ , they would certainly be better off without having to feed another teenage boy for nine weeks. Plus, Sirius couldn’t risk Remus to the wrath of his mother. 

So that left James, then. The Potter’s had always been good folk, and they were well off enough to not hurt for putting Sirius up until school started up again. Moreover, they were purebloods. Therefore his mother’s reach didn’t extend there, since she’d never hurt purebloods in any obvious fashion, blood-traitors though they may be. James’ it was, then.

He waved his wand hand, signaling for the bus. With a flash and a bang, the bus screeched to a halt in front of him. “Where you off to, mate?” The porter was already scrambling to help Sirius with his trunk. 

“Potter residence?”

The porter nodded. “Fifteen sickles.” Sirius rummaged through his pocket, finding enough change to pay the man, and give him a tip. He settled in the back of the bus, staring to the window as the bus whizzed through the streets of London. The enchanted parchment crinkled against his skin. He wanted to pull it out, talk to Remus, tell him what was going on. But he couldn’t – not tonight. So instead he contended himself by unrolling it and revealing the copy parchments: all the pieces of paper he had used to copy various snippets of conversation from the past few weeks.

_Love you, Padfoot._

_ Oi! I say it  _ once _, now you got to be a great big soppy git about it._

_ Well, I do love you, Pads. And you love me, so don’t even act like it’s all soppy. _

_ Yeah, well… _

_ Well? _

_ Well, Mister Moony…you know, we should get a flat together. After Hogwarts. _

_ What? _

_ Yeah. I mean, I know it’s two years away, but you know I can’t stand this place. As soon as I’m out, I’m getting a job, even if it’s dishwashing or something. And I’m getting my own place. So, figured, you know… _

_ Figured you’d want me available to shag every night? _

_ Hey! Not just that. I just…it’d be weird  _ not _living together, you know? I mean, we do at Hogwarts, and whenever I gotta leave for hols, I…_

_ You… _

_ I miss you, Moony. Geeze. _

_ I miss you too, Padfoot. _

_ I love you. _

_ Now look who’s being a soppy git. _

_ Oi! Well, will you? _

_ I’ll have to think about it, Padfoot. I mean, I might not be able to get a job after Hogwarts, so I wouldn’t be able to pay my half of the rent or anything. _

_ Okay, how about this: assuming everything works out – like, jobs, and locations, and everything – would you live with me? _

_ Assuming the world behaves for once and doesn’t treat me like shit? Yes. I’ll live with you. _

“Potter residence!” Sirius wiped the back of his hand across his eyes: it came away wet. He rolled up the parchments and tucked them back into his waistband before standing up and making his way off the bus. 

His trunk was waiting for him as he stepped off the bus. With a nod and a wave, the bus was off again, speeding out into the night.

Sirius managed to lug his trunk up to the front door of the Potter residence. He knocked – loudly – hoping that they wouldn’t be too put-out by a sixteen year old runaway showing up on their doorstep in the middle of the night. A moment later, he kicked himself for his doubts.

The door swung open, revealing a disgruntled Mr. Potter. “’Ello?”

“Mr. Potter? It’s…um…Sirius Black. James’ friend? I…I was wondering…”

The older man blinked down at Sirius. “James’ friend? I know who you are. Are…was there supposed to be a sleep-over? I thought your parents didn’t like you spending time away from them?”

Sirius blushed, scuffing his toe on the doormat. “I…I sort of…left. Home. I was wondering if you might…put me up? Just for a bit…”

Mrs. Potter was there now, pushing her husband aside. “Sirius? Why, darling, did you run away? Oh, come in, come in!” She shoved her husband aside. “ _Honestly_ , making the poor boy stand outside. Come on, we’ll get you a nice mug of tea – how’s that sound? Go and wake James!” The last sentence was directed at her husband, who blinked slowly, then finally nodded. 

“Oh, right. ‘Course.” He started away, up the stairs, ruffling his hair and looking for all the world just like James when Sirius woke him up in the middle of the night.

“Here you go, dear. Kettle’s on. You just give me your things,” with a wave of her wand Mrs. Potter levitated the trunk and sent it upstairs. “We’ll set you up in the spare bedroom. Nothing to worry about, dear.”

Sirius’ eyes brimmed with tears. “Th-thank you, Mrs. Potter. I’m sorry to have to barge in here like this…”

“Oh…” she poured tea into four mugs, setting the first one in front of Sirius. With a wave of her hands, she dismissed any concerns that Sirius might have. “Don’t be ridiculous. We said you were _always_ welcome here, and we meant it.”

“It’s about time you left that horrid family, anyway.” Mr. Potter’s voice cut in from the doorway, as he entered the kitchen. He accepted a mug of tea from his wife, then turned to Sirius. “James is on his way down; he just had to throw on a shirt and robe.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. Not like he hadn’t seen James indecent in the Quidditch locker room. But, he supposed, for propriety’s sake…

“Sirius! You old dog, what have you done?!”

“Young dog, thanks much!” Sirius shot back to James, who was already enveloping him in a hug. “And, it looks like I’ve gotten myself disowned. Apparently.”

With a wave of his hands all-too-similar to his mother’s, James pushed all the worrisome implications of that aside. “Eh, who needs your familial connections, huh? You’re better off without them.” Through all his light-heartedness, James’ eyes were genuinely concerned, and for that, Sirius was grateful. “Listen, why don’t you grab your mug, get you upstairs and settled in.”

Mrs. Potter nodded in agreement with her son. “Go ahead, boys. We’ll sort this all out in the morning, when everyone’s had a good night’s sleep. Come along.”

James and Sirius hurried upstairs, Sirius throwing down one more string of “thank you’s” to Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who waved them aside and reassured him that it was the least they could do. Once they got upstairs, James dragged Sirius into his bedroom, urging him to worry about unpacking and sorting his stuff out later.

“Alright, mate. Spill.”

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. His communications with James so far this summer about his home life had been even more sparse and vague than his with Remus. He didn’t even know himself exactly what it was that made him leave – why this argument was any different than the ones he had with his parents in the past. It wasn’t like he wasn’t _aware_ of the pureblood marrying practices, that his parents would expect him to marry one of his many female relatives one day. It just suddenly seemed so much more imminent, and real. And with Remus suffering tonight…Sirius quenched the niggling thought that it was Remus that made him finally leave. If Remus ever found out, he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

He decided to lay it out as simply for possible for James. “They wanted me to marry Bellatrix.” 

James stuck out his tongue and gagged loudly. “Ugh! Gross! Oh man, that sucks.” He craned his neck past Sirius, then shuffled off the bed to shut the door. Returning he asked, “D’they, you know, know about…”

Sirius blushed. “They do now.”

James placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. “That’s rotten, mate. Sorry.”

Frustration swept through Sirius. “They didn’t even care, though! I told them I’m not leaving Remus, and that he’s a bloke, and all, and my dad just said to keep him on as a mistress. A _mistress_! Isn’t that…that’s so…” Sirius heaved a sigh, at a loss for words.

“That’s right bollocksed up, mate, is what that is.”

“Yeah.” Sirius let out a breath. “Yeah.” His gaze drifted out James’ window, seeking out the full moon. 

“Watching the charts?”

Sirius shot James a _look_ , a, I-can’t-believe-you-just-asked-me-that look. “’Course I am.”

James nibbled at his lower lip. “Is that why you came here? Instead of going to his?”

It was with a sudden rush of clarity that Sirius realized the insecurity behind James’ words. “What? No!” He gripped James’ shoulder fiercely. “You’re my best mate, James! I mean, what, am I gonna stop being yours when Lily finally comes to her senses and marries you?”

James’ crooked grin reappeared on his face. “’Course not. But, you know, Lily’s a bird. Difference.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Hey, me and Remus have done more together as boyfriends than Lily’s ever done with you.” _Or will ever_ let _you do_ , thought Sirius, grinning smugly to himself.

James wrinkled his nose. “Okay, stop thinking, right now. Whatever you’re thinking about, please, _please_ stop. You’re grossing me out.”

“And anyways,” Sirius continued, ignoring James, “His family’s not as well off as yours. Me being there, it’d be a strain.” 

Looking reassured, James nodded. “Alright. So long as you didn’t come to me just because you decided to leave home on the one night out of twenty-eight that you couldn’t go to Moony’s.”

The parchment crinkled in Sirius’ waistband as he shifted on James’ bed. Yeah, and the one night out of twenty-eight that he couldn’t talk to Remus about everything that was happening. He’d have to write him a letter – a _proper_ letter – detailing everything that had happened, and where to find him, as soon as his owl found him.

Sirius faked a yawn. “Listen, James, I’m beat. I’m just gonna…” he tossed a thumb over his shoulder, toward the guest room.

“Yeah, mate, no problem.” James pulled him in for one last manly hug. “Get some rest. Mum always says that everything looks better in the morning.”

With that, Sirius made his escape, shutting himself up in the Potter’s spare room. The sheets were already turned down for him – bless Mrs. Potter. As he tore off his clothing, he noticed a tapping at his window. It was Eleanor, his owl. And she had a note attached to her foot. He opened the window, letting her in. She flew around the room, as is she were giving it an once-over. Apparently satisfied, she came to rest on his headboard, hooting at him and waving her foot. 

He went over and stroked her, head to tail, so that she chirruped happily at him. “Sorry, girl. I’ll ask the Potter’s for food and everything tomorrow. First paycheck I manage to pick up, I’ll buy you a new cage. How’s that sound?” She chirruped again, waving her foot at him. “Alright, alright.” The letter was more of a note, and as he read it, unexpected tears filled his eyes.

_Mum scorched your face off the tapestry. Don’t bother coming back._

_ -Reg _

It shouldn’t bother him. It really shouldn’t. But that didn’t stop the tears for welling up in Sirius’ eyes, or the aching need to talk to Remus fill his heart. Sirius shook himself, finally scrounging through his trunk for some bedclothes. As an afterthought, he grabbed an ink and parchment – the non-enchanted kind – and crawled into bed with it, trying to compose a letter to Remus.

_Remus,_

_ ~~I left home.~~ _

_ ~~How was the full?~~ _

_ ~~I love you.~~ _

_ ~~Please come to James’.~~ _ ~~ __~~

Frustrated, Sirius crumbled up the parchment and threw it to the side. As the moonlight filtered into the guest room window, Sirius tried to fall to sleep. It was several hours until he succeeded.

**

The next morning after a hearty breakfast from Mrs. Potter, James and Sirius sat on the front porch, staring at dozens of crumpled pieces of parchment.

“Just _tell him_ ,” James was saying. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal. You’ll talk to him once he gets here, right?”

“But it was just the full! I don’t want to upset him.”

James kicked at a piece of parchment, sending it flying out onto the front lawn. It skidded to a stop temporarily, then started rocking back and forth in the breeze. “Don’t you think he’ll be more upset if you wait to tell him?”

Bollocks. Sirius stared down at the parchment.

“You’re mum won’t mind if he comes over?”

James shook his head. “She already told you to invite him. Pete’ll be coming in another few days, as soon as he’s back from France or Germany or wherever his mum has him now.”

Sirius chewed his lip – already red and raw from too much worrying this morning – and dipped his quill into his inkpot for what felt like the hundredth time that morning. 

_Remus,_

_ I’m sorry. I know it was just the full, and I want to find out how it went and how you are. But first you need to know something.  _

_ I ran away from home. I’m over at James’. Peter says he’ll be heading over in a few days, and I thought you could come over, too, as soon as you’re feeling up to it. _

_ I’m sorry. I have rotten timing. _

_ Write me, please. _

_ Love, _

_ Sirius _

Sirius tried to keep the letter hidden, but James was reading over his shoulder before he could conceal it. “Ugh. _Love_? Since when did you get so soppy?”

Folding the letter in half and sealing it, Sirius glared at James. “Since I fell in love with Remus. Now back off.”

James took a step back, hands held palms out in surrender. He stayed silent as Sirius whistled for Eleanor. She flew over to his shoulder, hooting softly. Mrs. Potter had given her some of their owl food that morning, and Eleanor was all the happier for it. “This is for Remus, alright? Lupin. You remember where he lives?” Eleanor hooted. “There’s an extra mouse in it for you if you deliver it quickly. But wait for a reply, alright?”

Eleanor hooted again, waggling her foot at Sirius. He secured the letter, and then she was off, flapping for height until she caught an updraft and soared away. It wasn’t until James coughed behind him, that Sirius realized he had been staring after her.

“Did…have you guys actually _said_ , you know, ‘love’?”

Sirius glared at James. Sometimes he could be a real berk about the whole thing. “Yes, _James_ , we have. I’ve also had my tongue up his arse, you wanna hear about that?”

“Oh! Merlin! No! Ugh!” James’ face turned a brilliant green-red, caught between embarrassment and nausea. “Why…no! No! I don’t…ugh! That was the night, too, wasn’t it? Ugh! I’m gonna…”

James flapped his hands keeping Sirius away from him. He disappeared into the house, kicking his way through the piles of wasted parchment on the porch. He hoped Remus was alright. And he hoped he understood.

**

Sirius refused to eat lunch. And dinner. It was dark out, and the Potter family was sitting downstairs, playing a game of exploding snap. James had practically dragged Sirius down the stairs to try and get to him to join in, but Sirius refused that, too. He couldn’t do anything: not until he had his reply from Remus.

Finally, as the Potter’s were saying their goodnights and climbing into bed, Sirius heard a tapping on his window. He rushed to push it open, and in flew Eleanor, fluttering around his room and nosing into his luggage. “Hey, hey, alright, calm down.” He snatched the note off her leg and stroked her soothingly. “You want a mouse, don’t you? Come on, come down to the kitchen and we’ll get it.”

Sirius kept the note clutched in his hand. He’d been waiting all day for Remus’ response, but now he didn’t much feel like opening it. So he waited – fed Eleanor, let her outside, made sure she was secure on her perch. Then, with a quick glance at the not-quite-full moon, he sat down on the porch steps and opened the letter.

_Sirius,_

_ I’m sorry to hear about you leaving home – though happy that you left. Is that terrible of me? I tried writing you, but you weren’t picking up. And your owl is here pecking at my bandages for a reply, so I guess you want to talk to me this way. _

_ Are you mad? _

_ Mum says I can come over in two days: she wants to make sure I’m fully healed before traveling. I told her I’m fine to go tomorrow, but she insisted. It’s weird, her coddling me. Especially since I know we’ve gotten up to much more vigorous things a day after the full than just traveling (and I’m not just talking about  _ that _, you wanker)._

_ I’ll see you in two days. Please message me. _

_ Love, _

_ Remus _

Upon finishing the letter, Sirius rushed into the house and up the stairs. He had kept the parchment hidden under his pillow all day – afraid of what he might read. Yanking it out now, he saw a list of messages Remus tried to send him.

_Padfoot?_

_ Padfoot, are you alright? _

_ Padfoot, I got your letter. _

_ Pads? _

_ Are you safe? _

_ I’m writing you back. _

_ Please write to me. _

Sirius dove for his quill and inkpot, scribbling a quick “ _I’m here”_ on the paper. 

Not even thirty seconds later, the parchment glowed with a reply.

_Padfoot? Are you safe at Prongs’?_

_ _ Sirius scribbled back quickly. _Safe. At James’._ He paused, then quickly added _Are you alright? How was the full?_

_ Fine. And don’t try and change the subject – I go through full all the time; not like you run away from home every day. _

_ You don’t go through it all the time without me. _

_ _ There was a longer pause between messages this time. Sirius worried that maybe he had said too much, pushed too hard. But then the paper was glowing again with Remus’ reply.

_I did before._

_ _ Sirius waited, but nothing more came through. So he wrote back to Remus: _Are you mad at me?_

_Why do you think that?_

_ _ Sirius frowned. _That’s not a no._

_ _ An even longer pause this time: Sirius was getting worried. _This_ was why he had wanted to have this conversation face-to-face. Remus couldn’t hide behind smooth words or empty platitudes. He would be able to see Remus, and know what he was feeling. Now it was just…a piece of parchment.

Finally, the parchment glowed again. After reading the message, Sirius almost wished Remus hadn’t replied.

_Why’d you go to James’?_

_ _ Sirius replied immediately. _1.] It was the full. Shite timing, I know. 2.] James has a spare room, you don’t. 3.] Mother knows James and where he lives, but can’t hurt him because he’s pureblood and it’d look bad. You don’t have that same protection._

He tactfully left out the fourth reason: that the Potter’s could afford to feed another mouth for the rest of the summer. After another pause the paper glowed again.

_You sure? There’re no other reasons?_

_ _ Sirius sighed. First he had to reassure James that he really wanted to be at his, now he had to reassure Remus that he really wanted to be there. And honestly, both were true. James was his brother – _unlike that_ Slytherin _who was still at Grimmauld_ – so of course he’d come to the Potter’s, and of course he’d want to be here. But Remus was his…well, boyfriend, or something – though boyfriend seemed like such a temporary phrase for someone whom Sirius knew he never wanted to be apart from. Lover? Kind of girly. Partner? Better, though sounded kind of grown-up. Whatever Remus was, he meant everything to Sirius. All the more reason Sirius had to protect him, to make sure all this insanity never reached him.

_I just want you safe, Remus. I want to spend every minute I can with you, but you need to be safe, too._

His answer apparently satisfied Remus, because a moment later he was writing back.

_Okay, just checking. Want to wank?_

Sirius stifled his laughter, but quickly shucked off his robes and slid under the sheets, parchment gripped firmly between his fingers.

  
Continue on reading Part 3 [here](http://amuly.livejournal.com/45213.html#cutid1).

**

Two days later, and Sirius was quickly outstaying his welcome with the Potter’s.

Okay, so he wasn’t _really_ , he was just getting on everyone’s nerves in his eagerness to see Remus again. Sirius had a feeling that James had a talk with his parents about Sirius and Remus, because they just kept rolling their eyes and shooting each other significant _looks_ every time Sirius ran to the front door, or fidgeted at the breakfast table, or – one more memorable time – started screaming at the clock on the wall and throwing hexes at it.

“But, it was _taunting_ me, James.”

James gave Sirius one of the funniest looks he had ever seen. “Okay, Padfoot. Just…um…be patient?”

Sirius started banging his head on the kitchen table, so James picked Sirius up by his armpits and dragged him outside. “Come on,” he grumbled, “we’ll race on my brooms. I’ve got a quaffle, and we can set up goals between some trees. Come on.”

Sirius whined and dragged his feet, but eventually James managed to manhandle him outside under the sun. It was a brilliant day for Quidditch: James was right on that account. The sun was out (for once) and a light breeze was blowing, ready to brush away any sweat that might form. Sirius hauled himself onto a proffered broom and half-heartedly played with James.

A hundred to ten goals later, and Sirius was bored. And anxious. And ready to throw the quaffle at James’ head like a bludger if he hollered with another scored goal. 

Then, out in the distance, Sirius’ eyes picked up something. He stopped in mid-air, letting James steal the quaffle from him and score yet another goal. “Hah! Hundred and ten to ten! Your arse is mine, Black!” Sirius ignored him, squinting hard into the distance. He lifted up a hand to first brush his hair from his face, then to shield his eyes. Was that…dust? It looked like something was heading down the road to the Potter residence.

He was off like a shot, racing his broom toward the growing disturbance on the horizon. James was shouting something behind him, but Sirius ignored him. Within a few seconds, he was close enough to make out what was causing the disturbance: it was a car. Sirius pushed his broom harder. The wind stung at his face and burned his eyes, but he ignored it. With a sudden jerk, he pulled his broom back, and suddenly he was flying backwards, keeping pace with the car on his right. 

“Remus!”

Sirius started laughing, almost hysterically. Remus’ pale face jerked up from the window where he had been dozing, sleepy eyes blinking and looking around. 

“Remus!” Sirius knocked on the glass window, startling Mrs. Lupin in the driver’s seat. “Remus!”

Finally Remus woke up enough to catch sight of Sirius, still flying backwards at the same speed as the car. A grin split his face, and he reached down for something. It was a moment later that Sirius realized he must have been rolling down the window, which slid down at the pace of Remus’ rotating shoulder. 

“Remus!” Sirius leaned in through the window, then stopped, hesitating. His eyes darted over to Remus’ mom in inquiry.

Before Sirius knew what was happening, Remus’ hand had darted out and grabbed Sirius by the front of his shirt, pulling him forward and crushing their lips together. Sirius almost overbalanced, falling off his broom and onto the road. But he managed to hold on, while letting Remus snog him senseless with one of the best kisses of his life.

With a whimper Sirius would deny until the end of his life, Sirius pulled back. “Remus, I’m…”

“Tree!”

Acting on instinct, Sirius veered away from the car, narrowly missing a tree that lined the dirt road. Rolling his eyes, Sirius turned around, so that he was flying the same direction as the car. He pulled alongside of the old vehicle, scowling at a grinning Remus. “Thanks,” he mock-pouted.

Remus rolled his eyes, but before he had a chance to respond Mrs. Lupin raised her voice. “I’m guessing that’s you back there, Sirius Black?”

Sirius blushed but nodded, answering back: “Yes, ma’am. How are you, Mrs. Lupin?”

“Fine, dear. I expect you’ll take good care of my son while he’s here?”

Sirius nodded vigorously, and could see Mrs. Lupin’s eyes flicker over to the side mirror to watch him. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll stay on top of him.” Remus’ sudden coughing fit alerted him to the innuendo in his words. “I…I mean…” Sirius was bright red, and it wasn’t from the sun he had gotten that day. “I mean, I’ll, I’ll watch him. Make sure he doesn’t over-exert himself. Not that I’d overexert him. Not that I’m on top. I mean…oh, bollocks.”

But Mrs. Lupin just groaned a little in sympathetic embarrassment, then laughed. “As long as you boys are safe, I don’t need to know the details. Just try to make sure he stays in one piece for the next three weeks, okay?”

Sirius nodded again, shooting a glance over at Remus. “Yes ma’am.” He winked, causing Remus to blush furiously. Leaning in for one last kiss from atop his broom, Sirius flicked his tongue into Remus’ mouth, then sucked on his lower lip as he pulled away. “Meet you at the house?” he murmured. 

Remus’ breath was a little heavy as he rested his forehead against Sirius’ through the window. “See you there,” he responded.

With that, Sirius pulled away from the car and flew back to the house, pulling up beside a waiting James. “So he’s here? _Finally_?”

Sirius nodded, dismounting from his broom. Sirius was of the firm opinion that dismounting a broom should be treated the same as running down a flight of stairs: less control, more throwing oneself over to gravity and hoping for the best. He stumbled and tripped, but managed to stay upright as he snatched for the broom and shoved it back at James. “Coming up the drive. Be here in a minute.”

Sirius glanced around. “Drinks! We have to…lemonade, or something…” With that, he started to dash into the house, only to be met by two relieved Potter’s. 

“Is Remus here, then?”

Mrs. Potter was carrying a tray of lemonade and biscuits. Sirius noted in a back corner of his mind that he loved Mrs. Potter to death, and would have to make sure he got her plenty of wonderful Christmas and birthday presents for the next several decades. Mr. Potter was carrying a tray of sandwiches to go along with the drinks, and the two spouses proceeded to set up a luncheon table on the porch.

_Finally_ , after what had to have been at least _three full minutes_ , Mrs. Lupin pulled up in front of the house. Remus hopped out of the car, but stood by the door as he glanced furtively at the Potter’s. With one long look at Sirius, Remus turned away and helped his mom with his bags. Sirius growled, throwing himself off the porch and half-running, half-stumbling his way to Remus. When they met in the middle, Remus shifted uncertainly, rolling a shoulder to adjust the bag slung over it. “Hey, Siri-mmph!”

Sirius gripped Remus’ face in both hands and snogged him soundly, doing his best to erase Remus’ uncertainty and awkwardness with his lips and tongue. A second bag that Remus had been holding in his hand fell to the ground with a thump as Remus brought his arms up and wrapped them around Sirius, pulling him closer.

“Boys!”

With a start, Remus jumped away from Sirius. But the source of the reprimand – Mrs. Potter – was looking more amused than reproachful. “Sirius, Remus has had a bit of traveling this morning. I’m sure he would appreciate a nice lunch before you attack him.”

The smoldering _look_ Remus shot Sirius told the dark-haired boy _exactly_ what Remus wanted for lunch, but then he turned to Mrs. Potter with his “prefect face” on. “Yes, Mrs. Potter. Thank you for making lunch.” He picked his bag up from where it fell and lifted it slightly. “I think I’ll just drop my stuff off and wash up real quick before I eat.” Remus did a little gesture with his eyebrows at Sirius, encouraging him to follow him inside. Sirius understood immediately, but had to wait through a series of hugs and good-byes as Remus as his mother parted.

Finally they were done, and Sirius was helping Remus carry his bags inside.

“Oh, boys, let me help with that.” Mr. Potter had inserted himself between the two boys and the doorway. With three quick wand taps, Mr. Potter miniaturized all of Remus’ luggage until the three pieces could fit in the palm of his hand. “There you go, Remus. Just toss them in the second room on the left upstairs, and I’ll get them sorted out after lunch. Sirius: lunch?”

Sirius glared daggers at Mr. Potter, but reluctantly allowed him to separate them, wandering over to the lunch table almost listlessly. Even Mrs. Potter’s delicious sandwiches and potato casserole weren’t enough to kindle a spark of enthusiasm within him for food at the moment. That is, until Remus stepped back out onto the porch. Then all of Sirius’ energy was focused on making sure that Remus ate.

“Here, have a sandwich. No, wait, have two. They’re really good.” Sirius piled the food onto the plate on his right, simultaneously kicking the chair out with his foot and gesturing Remus to sit down. “And have some potato casserole, too.” Sirius scooped a generous amount onto Remus’ plate; it landed with a wet _slap_ , spraying little flecks of casserole juices all over.

Remus slid into the chair, grabbing at Sirius’ arm. “Okay, Sirius, calm down. Mum’s been making sure I eat, don’t worry.”

“But the full…”

Remus’ eyes widened as his neck snapped around to look at Sirius, before he shot a glance at the adult Potter’s. Before Sirius could explain, Mr. Potter spoke up. “Oh, don’t worry, Remus. James told us all about your condition.”

Mrs. Potter nodded. “You’re a very brave young man: going to school at Hogwarts while having to deal with that every month.” She glanced over at Sirius, smile spreading across her face. “And just so you know, James also told us about you and Sirius, and we think that’s perfectly lovely, don’t we?”

Mr. Potter’s features settled into that uncomfortable-but-trying-not-to-be expression that James sometimes wore when he caught Sirius and Remus snogging. “Right. Lovely.” He hesitated, eyes flickering between the two boys. “Just, er…no funny business. Alright?”

James cackled wildly, pointing a finger at Sirius. “You have to control yourself around Remus!” __

Sirius flung a pickle at James, only to be sharply reprimanded by Mrs. Potter. “Sirius Black!”

“Sorry, Mrs. Potter,” he hung his head in a proper display of submission. Under the table, his bare foot was sliding up and down over Remus’ calf. Remus made a strangled sound and dug into his casserole, though there was nothing he could do to hide the blush spreading from his cheeks down his neck and over his ears. 

“Oh, look at this. See what you’re doing, Sirius?” Mrs. Potter gestured at Remus. “You’re embarrassing poor Remus. I’m sorry, darling.” She dusted off her hands as she stood, hands on her hips. “I made some chocolate biscuits for dessert – would you like me to bring some out? James told me about your affinity for chocolate.”

Remus spluttered and coughed, looking for all the world like he was just surprised by Mrs. Potter’s generosity. But Sirius – and his hand that was inching across Remus’ thigh – knew better. Remus shifted and subtly batted at Sirius’ hand while turning to Mrs. Potter. “That’d be great, Mrs. Potter. Thanks.” Turning back to the table, he hissed under his breath “Sirius!”

It was with great personal reluctance that Sirius kept his hands to himself and focused on poking at his food. Mrs. Potter returned with the biscuits, and Sirius’ mood improved as he watched Remus’ face light up and eyes flutter closed as he caught sight of and ate the chocolates. Sirius actually forgot to eat for a few minutes as he watched, transfixed, as Remus savored the taste of chocolate in his mouth, sucking and licking each finger clean.

It was James coughing that brought Sirius back to the meal’s conversation. “I _said_ ,” James glared, exasperated, at Sirius, “That Sirius and Remus over here have been doing loads of research on werewolves.” 

Both Sirius and Remus started choking on the food in their mouths, turning bright red. Sirius was the first to recover with the help of a swig of lemonade. “The…we’re just…”

Oh, that right _bastard_. James was grinning smugly on the other side of the table. He shot his eyebrows up, as if daring Sirius to explain himself.

“You know, ‘cause of Remus’ condition. Just…making sure, um…”

“Latest research!” Remus cut in, after swallowing down an entire cup full of lemonade. He gasped, out of breath, before he continued. “For potions! They think they might have a potion in the next decade that could help werewolves keep their minds at the full. That way I wouldn’t have to be locked up, or hurt myself, or anything.”

Sirius actually didn’t know if what Remus was saying was true or not – _he_ had never heard of such a potion being in the works – but he went along with it, nodding his head vigorously. James snorted and went back to picking at his casserole, though the Potter’s seemed satisfied by Remus’ explanation. 

A few minutes later Mr. Potter was excusing himself, getting ready to head over to work for a half-day. Mrs. Potter was cleaning up the dishes, and even though Remus – and Sirius, after a little nudging from Remus – offered to help, she waved all three boys off, ordering them to “catch up”. Sirius was all for taking her at her word, but James dragged the both of them into his bedroom, so Sirius’ _proper_ reunion with Remus was forestalled another few minutes.

“So how was the moon?” James asked, settling onto the floor with his back against his bed. Sirius threw himself down on the floor, lying on his stomach, while Remus sat down more sedately next to him.

“Fine.” Remus shrugged. “Not as good as when you guys are there, but it was okay.”

Sirius’ eyes slid away from Remus, staring at James’ battered nightstand. “You have a new scar on your leg. And one on your arm. And pinky.”

He felt Remus tense beside him, and waited a few seconds before he glanced over from beneath a mop of hair. Remus was running a hand over his bare arms, and tucking his pinky finger beneath his other digits. The awkward moment was interrupted by James coughing loudly. “Hey, so, you wanna play Quidditch? I was kick Sirius’ skinny arse before you showed up.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, but Remus continued with more tact. “Actually, I was thinking Sirius and I might do some more research.” He raised an eyebrow, meeting Sirius’ eyes. “What do you think, Sirius? Research?”

Sirius’ eyes widened, and his cock twitched against the floor. Oh. _Oh_. Suddenly the word “research” became one of the more erotic words in the English language for Sirius. “Research is…good,” he finally managed to get out, between dry lips.

James fake-gagged, but swatted at them. “Fine. Go do your bloody _research_. I’ve gotta write Wormtail, anyway, and read this week’s _Quidditch International_.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he scrambled to his feet. “Oh, so you’ll be doing the same thing we will.” He wrapped his hand around the air and started jerking it lewdly. “Wanking while you’re fawning over some _broomsticks_.”

Sirius cackled and dodged a thrown shoe as he and Remus scampered out the door. He glanced around the hallway once they were there. “Where are you?”

Remus gestured. “Just across the hall, there.” He pointed to a door diagonally from James’. 

“Let’s go to yours,” Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and started dragging him across the hallway – not that he needed much encouragement. “My rooms’ next to James’, and…” he made a face.

Remus laughed as Sirius slammed the door shut behind them.

Immediately Sirius was on top of Remus, shoving him against the door and plundering his mouth with his tongue. “Fuck, Remus, need you _now_ …”

Remus nodded, fingers already yanking open their trousers, not even bothering with shirts. Twin arousals sprang free from their cloth confines, and Sirius pinned Remus to the door, grinding hard into him. Little whimpers escaped Remus’ mouth with every vicious thrust. “Ah – ah – Sir – ah-”

Sirius growled, low in his throat, focusing on trying to pound Remus through the door. Three weeks was too long a time for him to go without his Remus, regardless of all the wanking sessions they had managed through the parchment.

“Rem, gotta…” Sirius bit down hard on Remus’ neck as he came, hot fluid spurting out between them. Remus came not a second later with a little cry: eyes squeezed tightly shut, expression softly pained. 

Sirius panted harshly, leaning all his weight against Remus, who – Sirius suspected – was only standing upright with the help of the door at his back. “Sorry. Quick, but…”

Remus’ breath was hot on Sirius’ ear as he shook his head. “No, no. Fine. I needed it, too.”

Sirius finally pulled back, looking at Remus tenderly. He swept a hand through his brown hair, caressing him until letting his hand come down to cup Remus’ cheek. Remus’ eyes remained closed as he panted and slowly composed himself. Finally he turned his head and kissed the palm of Sirius’ hand before opening his eyes. “Can we continue this someplace softer?”

Sirius grinned, stepping backwards. He laughed a little as he took in Remus’ thoroughly debauched look: trousers undone and sated cock hanging out, but shirt still buttoned; hair completely mussed and face flushed. “You look…”

Remus rolled his eyes and tried to flatten his hair. “Like a five sickle whore?”

Sirius grabbed Remus and pushed him backwards on the bed before straddling him. “I was going to say _gorgeous_.”

Beneath him, Remus’ grumbled. “Make me sound like a girl…” 

Sirius nipped at his earlobe in reproach, earning a nice little groan from Remus. “I think I just expressed my pleasure with your definitive non-girly-ness not thirty seconds ago.”

Remus rolled his eyes, but lay back and sighed, relaxing beneath Sirius.

Reaching down to his side, Sirius took hold of Remus’ hand and brought it up to his mouth. He gently kissed the scar on his pinky before lapping and sucking at it, as if he were Padfoot and treating one of Moony’s wounds. Remus hummed, the sound a mixture of both displeasure and happiness. Sirius knew what it meant: Remus didn’t want Sirius to fret over his scars, but he also couldn’t help but be pleased with the attention. 

Sirius rolled Remus’ sleeve up next, repeating the procedure with the much larger scar on his forearm. Finally, Sirius sidled down low on the bed, pulling Remus’ already unfastened trousers down as he went. As the trousers fell away, they revealed the worst of the new scars: an angry red gash contoured to the shape of Remus’ calf muscle. Sirius bent his head and licked and kissed the wound, making his way slowly from top to bottom. By the time he was done he had left no piece of the new marks untouched by his lips and tongue. He glanced up, only to see Remus gazing down at him peacefully. 

Remus held his hand down, and Sirius took it, letting Remus drag him back up to his willing lips. As they kissed, Sirius felt himself growing hard again. Beneath him, Remus’ body was slower to respond, but he could feel Remus’ cock swelling slightly and gaining some turgidity. “Remus,” Sirius whispered into his lips, “fuck me. Please. I want you to…”

Beneath him, Remus shook his head, not even bothering to push Sirius away. “You know we can’t, yet. Come here,” Remus tugged at Sirius, drawing him into his neck. 

“But Remus,” Sirius allowed himself to be pulled in and nuzzled at Remus’ neck, “we’re certain it can’t be sexually transmitted. All the sources that say anything about it agree.”

Remus groaned, tilting his head to the side and letting Sirius have better access to his neck. Sirius attacked it vigorously, laving attention on the scars marring the pale skin with his tongue and lips. “Sirius…”

But Sirius was ignoring Remus’ protestations. He leaned forward, pressing Remus backwards onto the bed, then covered his too-thin body with his own. Beneath him, Remus whimpered a protest, but his hips were already undulating against Sirius’, and his hands were moving along Sirius’ back. 

Sirius started to kiss a line down Remus’ neck to his chest, unbuttoning Remus’ shirt as he went. “Come on, Remus,” kiss. “You _can’t_ transmit it except at full,” kiss. “Please…” Remus’ shirt was now completely unbuttoned, and Sirius was nuzzling and licking at the patch of darker brown hair leading him downward Remus’ hips rose to meet Sirius, as his stomach twitched and contracted under the contact.

“But…” Remus groaned, hand flying down automatically to thread through Sirius’ silken locks as he nipped at the skin _just barely_ above his erection. “What…about… _ah-_ ”

Sirius slipped his mouth over Remus’ cock, twirling his tongue around the head before sucking him in deeper. He hummed in self-satisfaction at the little noises Remus made above him, and the way his hips made desperate little self-restrained thrusts into Sirius’ mouth. 

But then Remus was pushing Sirius away. Reluctantly, Sirius let Remus slide out of his mouth, but kept his grip on Remus’ hips. He raised an eyebrow at Remus in inquiry.

Panting, flushed, and beautifully aroused, Remus bit his lip and shook his head as he stared down at a perplexed Sirius. “But, what about that other stuff? About my ‘passions overriding me’ – about me hurting you.” Tears sprang into Remus’ eyes. “I can’t hurt you, Sirius.”

Sirius surged up Remus’ body, planting urgent little kisses on Remus’ lips. “No, Remus, you won’t. That’s ridiculous.” Sirius pulled away, holding Remus’ face cupped in his hands. “We’ve already done _loads_ of stuff, and your passions haven’t ‘overridden’ you, or anything.”

“But…” Remus’ teeth worried his lower lip again, until Sirius stroked a thumb over it and pulled it away. He leaned forward and sucked the abused lip into his mouth, lapping at it gently. With a moan Remus pulled away, shaking his head. “But what about if I’m on top, and the wolf thinks of it like…like some sort of alpha male thing? What if it takes over, and I hurt you?”

Sirius’ thumbs ghosted trails over Remus’ face. “You won’t. But if you’re scared of that, then I can just be on top.”

Remus’ face turned bright red beneath Sirius’ hands. “But…what if that hurts? I mean, you’re… _thing_ …is pretty big. What if it doesn’t fit? What if it rips me?”

Sirius frowned at that, brows creasing together. “Remus, I would _never_ hurt you. _Ever_. Blokes have done this loads of times before us – and I doubt there weren’t any bigger than me.” He grinned at Remus, but worry still clouded amber eyes. “Remus, how could you think I’d hurt you? I…I do everything to make you feel better. I would never…” Sirius cut off, throat constricting painfully. “Do you not _want_ me? Is that it? Because if you don’t-” Sirius dropped his hands and made to get off the bed.

Immediately Remus’ hand shot out, stopping Sirius in his movements. “Sirius! No!” He pulled Sirius back onto his lap and thrust hard up against him. Sirius’ face tightened at the feel of Remus’ hard arousal pressing up against his, but he stayed carefully in control. “Can’t you feel how I want you?” Remus thrust up again, and Sirius had to grit his teeth to stifle a groan. “Sirius, I want this as much as you do. Why else would I be doing all this research? I just-”

“-have to be sure,” Sirius finished for him bitterly. “I know.” He waited for a moment, staring off into space just above Remus’ head. Finally he looked back down at Remus, staring him in the eyes. “You love me?”

“Yes, Sirius, yes. I love you.” Remus said the words almost reverently, his voice a whisper.

“You want to have sex with me? Once we can be sure it’s safe?”

“Yes, Sirius. Of course I do.”

Sirius’ lips were pressed together in a thin line as he considered the boy lying beneath him. Finally he leaned back down and kissed Remus. He returned the kiss eagerly, arms and legs coming up to wrap around Sirius and pull him closer as their hips started to thrust out a rhythm. Sirius broke the kiss first, and started to make his way down Remus’ body. 

“Ah, Sirius…” Remus’ hips were moving, feet scrambling against mattress, even as he shook his head. “What are…do you think we should?”

“Well, unless you want to _actually_ do research.” Sirius made to get up. “Merlin, Moony. I knew you were into the books, but to turn down a perfectly good blowjob for them…”

With a laugh Remus grabbed Sirius and shoved his head back toward his groin. “No, no Sirius. Books have nothing on you…”

Sirius licked at the few beads of precome already forming, then glanced up at Remus with a smile. “Throwing the books out of the bed for me? Don’t worry: I won’t tell them in the morning.”

Remus’ laughter quickly morphed into a groan as Sirius took him into his mouth. He wasted no time: gripping the base firmly in one hand, reaching down with the other to fondle Remus’ balls. As he sucked and licked at the length of Remus that he could fit in his mouth, he let his hand start to drift back toward Remus’ entrance. It was with a sudden start that Remus jerked forward, causing Sirius to gag and pull back. Remus was moaning loudly, though as soon as he noticed that Sirius had pulled back he glanced down.

“Oh, sorry, Sirius. Where were your fingers, just then? That felt really good.”

Sirius frowned, glancing down. “Really? I hadn’t even gone for your prostate, yet.”

He pressed his fingers forward, rubbing firmly against the small strip of skin separating Remus’ balls from his anus. Remus moaned, hips thrusting forward again. “Oh, _there_ , Sirius. What’s that?”

Sirius blinked and cocked his head, looking at the area. “Dunno, Remus. It’s just the area between your sack and arse. It feels good?”

Remus’ head was thrown to the side, brown hair fanning across the pillow. He swallowed, nodding shakily. “Yeah, Sirius. There…”

Sirius shrugged, but decided to make the most out of this newly discovered erogenous zone. He bent his head and licked a stripe up Remus’ shaft, keeping pressure on the new spot with his fingers. Then he hooked his arms under Remus’ thighs and hauled him up, allowing his mouth access to this new strip of flesh. 

First he licked at the area. This earned him another involuntary thrust and moan from Remus. Then he bit down – gently, of course – at the area. _That_ earned him an actual shout of pleasure from Remus. He could hear Remus’ feet sliding like crazy over the sheets: Remus always did that when he was on his back and beyond aroused. Next Sirius tried sucking on the area, as if he were trying to raise a hickey there. Remus _definitely_ liked that, if the whimpers and soft pleas tumbling from his lips were anything to go by.

“Sirius…Sirius, please. I have to…please…”

Remus’ hands started to drift lower, gliding over his stomach toward his throbbing arousal. Adjusting Remus’ weight so that one of his shoulders was now supporting a thigh instead of his right hand, Sirius batted the hands away and wrapped his own around Remus’ erection. A noise like a cross between a sigh and a cry made its way from Remus’ throat, as Sirius continued to suck, nibble, and lick at his sensitive skin, while stroking him toward completion at the same time.

With a cry Remus came, spilling hot liquid all over Sirius’ hand. He hauled himself upright, pleased with a job well done. As he waited for Remus to come back down from his high, Sirius rocked back on his heels and sucked at his come-covered fingers. 

“Oh, Sirius, please don’t do that,” Remus groaned. “Too hot…”

Sirius grinned wickedly as he lay himself down on top of Remus. As his erection came in contact with Remus’ flushed and sex-warmed stomach, Sirius couldn’t help the way his hips thrust down involuntarily against Remus’ abdomen. Remus noticed the movement and snaked a hand down between them, stroking Sirius languidly. Sirius hummed, sucking at Remus’ neck. 

“We’ll have to see if that area has a name,” Remus muttered into Sirius’ hair. Sirius nodded distractedly. A finger prodded at Sirius’ mouth, and he sucked it in. A second finger joined the first, and he concentrated on covering them in saliva as Remus continued to stroke him. When Sirius’ thrusts onto Remus’ stomach started to take on an edge of urgency, the fingers pulled out of his mouth and traveled down his back.

Sirius’ eyes fluttered as the first finger pressed in, and he canted his hips back onto it for a moment before thrusting back into Remus’ other hand at his front. As the second finger entered, Sirius groaned and his hips stuttered. Remus hadn’t even touched his prostate yet, but Sirius’ body knew what was coming, and it had him on the verge of orgasm with just the anticipation of it.

“Please, Rem? Can’t hold out.”

A soft kiss was pressed into his hair, and then Remus’ fingers were moving inside of him, thrusting in and in, searching around until… “Ah! There!” Sirius thrust back viciously onto the fingers, fucking himself on Remus’ elegant digits. Remus obligingly held his fingers in place, massaging that wonderful pleasure center inside Sirius until their stomachs were soaked with precome.

“So good, Rem…just…almost…” Sirius grunted as he thrust backwards on the fingers, face pressed firmly against Remus’ neck and breathing in his musky scent. Remus continued to pump him, fist moving faster as Sirius felt his orgasm building. Sirius came, biting down on Remus’ neck as he _thrust_ down onto Remus’ stomach, his boyfriend’s fingers still pressing firmly on the pleasure center inside of him.

Sirius jerked and twitched as his orgasm moved through him, finally collapsing in a pile of limp limbs against Remus. Slender fingers traced patterns in sweat across his back as Sirius gulped oxygen. “Okay?”

Sirius nodded against Remus’ neck, too sated to move just yet. It was Remus who finally forced him to, rolling a dozing Sirius off of him and onto the bed. “Stay?” Sirius asked questioningly. Remus nodded, throwing an arm over Sirius and curling into him. 

“You can stay. But don’t blame me when James takes the mickey tonight at dinner.”

Sirius grumbled something nonsensical before falling into a contented sleep.

**

The next day, the three boys unanimously agreed to head down to the lake as they waited for Peter to arrive. According to the letter that had reached James that morning, he had _one_ more luncheon to attend with his folks, then he was free to floo over. So after a quick breakfast, cooked by the lovely Mrs. Potter – as Sirius constantly and profusely told her between mouthfuls of eggs and bacon – the three grabbed their swimming trunks and set off.

Remus had – much to Sirius’ infinite annoyance – insisted on bringing a bag full of books along. When asked about it, Remus had pointed out that in about an hour he was going to get too tired to swim and play, but refused to leave Sirius and James to their own devices. Hence, the reading material. Sirius refused to admit that Remus had a point.

As soon as the lake came into view, Sirius shoved James and shouted “Last one there has to kiss Wormtail!” He took off running, flying past a still stumbling James and slow to catch on Remus. He laughed as the wind swept back his hair and heat bore into his skin. This, _this_ was good. This was living.

Sirius made it to the dock first, not even slowing down as he ran the length of it and threw himself off it. He flipped partially as he flew, and ended up landing in the lake on his side with a loud _smack_ as flesh hit water. It stung, but only for a moment, and then the cool water was lapping at his skin and the sun was glinting off the little waves his jump had created across the surface of the lake.

He flipped his hair out of his eyes, spraying droplets everywhere. James was next in the water, hollering and throwing himself in next to Sirius. Remus followed soon after, the bag of books abandoned on the grass before the dock. Immediately Sirius scooped Remus up and held him possessively. “I revoke the terms of the bet! I couldn’t stand to watch my Moony-kins snog Wormtail!”

James swept his arms back and doused Sirius and Remus with a rush of water. “So you were just going to let me snog Wormtail, is that it?”

Sirius stuck his tongue out at James. “You should thank me for it. You could use a good snog.”

With a rather unmanly squeek, Sirius dove away from Remus as James propelled himself forward with a roar. Sirius struck out hard to the middle of the lake, toward the little patch of land out there. James was following close behind, and Sirius began to sputter quickly under the exertion of swimming. He wasn’t very good at it, and James _did_ grow up right next to this lake. Soon enough, James had caught up with him and was dragging him under.

“Say ‘James is my king’! Say it!” 

Sirius valiantly shouted “Never!” even as he gasped for breath. James dunked him under again, only to bring him back up a moment later and shout again “James is my king! Come on!”

Sirius sputtered but shook his head again. Then Remus was there, dragging James off Sirius and dunking him under. In the moment of confusion Remus laughed, waving at Sirius. “Come on! Swim!” Together they set back out for the island in the center, which had somehow become home base. Several breathless minutes later they reached it, dragging themselves onto shore and catching their breaths.

“Made…it!” Sirius gasped. “Remus is my king! James…is a pleb!”

James was only a few meters out from the island, and dragged himself onto it in a matter of seconds. “Fine, fine. Sicking your boyfriend on me to win, completely unfair.”

Sirius snickered. “It’s okay, Prongs. In just a bit you’ll have Wormtail with you!”

James rolled his eyes. “Oh, fantastic. Good on me.”

Remus groaned and stretched, standing up and gazing back out at the dock and shore they had just come from. Sirius allowed himself a moment’s quite contemplation to enjoy the way Remus’ body glistened in the sunlight, and his wet hair clung to his neck. “I suppose we should swim back,” Remus muttered, almost mournfully.

“Nonsense!” James jumped up and glanced around the island. “Come on: we have to walk ‘round it _once_ , just to see.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Last one ‘round has to squeeze Wormy’s arse!” 

“Bollocks!” Sirius scrambled to his feet and started running. He heard Remus laugh and start after him, but all-too-quickly Remus’ feet faded away and Sirius knew he had left him behind in his pursuit of James. 

The island was _tiny_ , and it only took about a minute and a half for the clearing that they had washed up in to come into view. James was just ahead of Sirius, and he would be buggered if he was going to let James win this one. With a sudden burst of speed Sirius launched himself forward, practically tumbling past James through the impromptu finish line (an invisible line stretching between two trees). Sirius hauled himself upright, struggling for a breath, even as he danced around madly.

“Beat…you…ha…!” 

James was bent over double, hands on his knees, but he still tried to swat at Sirius in reprimand for his gloating.

Remus rounded the bend, jogging lightly through the finish line. Sirius noticed him wince as he sank down to the ground, rubbing at his wounded leg with a grimace. “Remus, you okay?” Sirius was at his side in an instant, running soothing fingers over the wound.

A shadow fell over them, and Sirius didn’t have to look up to know James was standing above them, peering down at Remus. “You alright, mate? That looks painful.”

Remus offered up a brave grin, shrugging one shoulder. “Not as bad as it looks. Started to twinge on the last bit, that’s all.” He wiped a wet lock of hair away from his face. “Plus I’m still a tad knackered from the full, I guess.”

Sirius frowned, still running his hand over Remus’ leg. “Shouldn’t have made you come out here with us. You should be in bed.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yeah, where you’d be ravaging me. Real restful.” The pang of guilt Sirius was feeling must have shown on his face, because then Remus was rushing to reassure him. “Not that I don’t enjoy every minute of it.”

Sirius leaned back to look up at James, the harsh sun making him squint and lift a hand over his eyes. “Head back to shore?”

James nodded. “Yeah. Wanted to show you this muggle thing my dad set up for me. It’s called a ‘rope-swing’.” 

For some reason, the words themselves seemed to contain some kind of magic, and Sirius felt a tingle go through him. “Rope-swing?” Another shiver rushed through him. That sounded like _fun_.

He glanced down to see Remus smiling fondly up at him. “Come on, let’s swim back.”

Sirius leaned in and brushed at a few more errant damp strands of hair that were sticking to Remus’ forehead. “You sure you’re up to it?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “I’m _fine_ , Sirius. It’s been three days since full.” Sirius was still uncertain, but Remus _did_ see sure of himself. He nodded. 

“Alright, but I’m hanging back with you. If you need help, just shout.” Sirius might to be a strong swimmer, but he knew that if Remus needed his help, he’d be able to get Remus back to shore. Either that, or they’d both have to wail for James’ help until he swam over. 

The boys waded back out into the lake, Remus batting Sirius away as he kept close and held his hands out, ready to help Remus at the slightest sign of instability. James swam out ahead with sure, confident strokes, cutting through the water like a broomstick through air. Sirius followed more sedately, doggy paddling more than anything. Of all the many skills the heir to the house of Black was expected to develop, swimming was not one of them. But it worked out just fine for him, since it meant he could easily keep pace with Remus.

For all of Sirius’ fretting, Remus ended up making it back to the shore just fine, if not a bit winded. James was already there, checking the tightness of a rope that was tied to the tree overlooking the lake. “Ready, Sirius?” he called out.

Sirius shot one look at Remus, but he was already waving him away. “I’m fine. I told you: that’s why I brought reading material.” With a swift kiss and brilliant grin, Sirius left Remus and ran over to James. “Okay, so what’s this ‘rope-swing’?”

**

Two hours later, Sirius was exhausted from trying to best James at rope swing tricks (and possibly showing off for Remus, who was resolutely curled up with several books). He and James were lounging on the grass, discussing the upcoming Quidditch World Cup. 

“Thomas Finnegan could kick Richard Jacob’s arse from here to Italy.” James was protesting. “Jacob doesn’t know a snitch from his-”

“Perineum!” Both boys rolled over onto their stomachs, staring at a flushing Remus. “I…it’s the…” He glanced furtively between James, Sirius, and the anatomy book in his lap. “Um…you know how we said we needed to figure out the name? Of that… _thing_?” Sirius blinked, staring at Remus in confusion. “That… _area_?” Remus’ eyes flicked downward significantly, and Sirius suddenly realized what he was referring to.

“Oh. _Oh_. The…it’s called the perineum, huh?” Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius could see James going a brilliant mixture of green and red as he tried to figure out what they were talking about. “Does it say it’s supposed…I mean…you’re normal?” Bugger it all, it was bloody _hard_ to try and come up with code-speak while James was lying right next to him.

Remus’ face grew even redder as his eyes flickered to James. “Yeah. They say it can be a…” he glanced at James again, then sighed. “They say it’s a common erogenous zone.”

James choked, glasses slipping down his face. Remus and Sirius emitted twin sighs at the sight.

Before James could recover and start taunting them, a paper butterfly flew over to them. James blinked, before snatching it out of the air and unfolding it. Sirius hoisted himself up to his elbows so that he could lean over James’ shoulder and read the note. “Wormtail’s here!” James announced to Remus, grinning. “Looks like now’s your chance to get lucky, Moony. Remember: snog and a squeeze!”

With a jerking laugh James pushed himself to his feet and started racing off in the direction of the house. Sirius started after him automatically, then glanced over at Remus who was collecting his books more slowly. “Go!” Remus admonished upon seeing Sirius hesitate. “You have to protect my honor, after all.”

Sirius blew him a kiss, then was off, racing after James. 

They arrived at James’ house at the exact same time, getting into an almost-wrestling match as Sirius tried to drag James down, and as James responded in kind. Wormtail looked baffled, holding a tray of lemonade for Mrs. Potter as she set out lunch. “Wow, mates. You didn’t have to get into a fight over _me_.”

James snorted as he managed to escape Sirius’ headlock. “Don’t get a swollen head, Peter. Wasn’t about you. _Well…_ ” James reconsidered, evil glint in his eyes, “…it _kind of_ is, actually. Remus has gotta snog you and squeeze your arse, for losing two races today.”

“Oi!” Sirius shoved at James, positioning himself in front of Peter. “But _I_ say he doesn’t have to, since it’s just after full, he’s all weak, _plus_ he’s my…” Peter and James both raised quizzical eyebrows, so Sirius stumbled forward, “my…you know. Mine. So I can’t have him snogging and feeling up other blokes.”

“Glad to hear you defending my honor,” Remus said wryly as he climbed the porch steps. “It’s very romantic.”

“Well, you know me, Moony-kins,” Sirius grinned, sidling closer to Remus, “the hopeless romantic.”

Twin gagging noises erupted from James and Peter, and Sirius promptly went to tackle them.James, however, was being a right sneaky git. “So Peter,” he said loudly. “D’you know what a perineum is?”

Sirius pulled up short mid-tackle, his eyes wide. “James!” he hissed.

Peter flickered his eyes back and forth between James and Sirius, before his eyes came to rest on a beet-red Remus. His eyes widened. “Um…no. But I don’t think I really-”

“Because _apparently_ ,” James continued, “it’s some place on the body. Some place that Remus likes _a lot_.”

“James…” the growl issuing from Sirius’ throat should have been warning enough for the bespectacled marauder, but he opened his mouth to continue.

“Lunch!” The exclamation came for Remus, who was looking for all the world like he wanted to make a mad dash for his bedroom. “Here, Mrs. Potter, do you need any help with that?”

James glared, but snapped his mouth shut at the sight of his mother. “Oh, Remus, don’t be silly. You’re a guest! Have a seat, there you go.”

The four boys seated themselves around the porch table, digging into peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and tortellini salad gratefully. Even Peter was piling his plate high with Mrs. Potter’s food.

“I thought you were at a luncheon?” Remus inquired.

Peter groaned and shook his head. “It was with my mum and her friends, and it wasn’t so much _lunch_ as _salad hour_. There wasn’t a bloody – oops,” he glanced at Mrs. Potter, “I mean, there wasn’t anything there for me to eat.” He blushed bright red at his slip of the tongue, but recovered quickly, holding up a sandwich toward Mrs. Potter. “These are delicious, by the way. The tortellini’s great, too.”

“Thank you, Peter.” Mrs. Potter was looking at Peter with amusement, obviously aware of his faux pas, but not about to call him on it.

Before Sirius had managed to wolf down even one sandwich, there was a commotion in the living room. A few seconds later Mr. Potter came out the front door, wiping floo dust from his work robes. “Ah. There you all are.”

There was a moment of jostling as everyone adjusted their seating arrangements so that Mr. Potter could sit next to his wife. Finally everyone was settled back in, and the ravenous consumption of Mrs. Potter’s lunch began again.

Mr. Potter moaned happily as he dug into the tortellini salad. “Mm. My dear, have I ever mentioned I love your cooking?”

Mrs. Potter smiled. “Once or twice.”

He turned back to the boys, leaning forward as if confiding in them. “You know, that’s the reason I come home for lunch every day I have the time, rather than eating in the Ministry cafeteria like all those other poor sods.” Sirius would have to agree with Mr. Potter’s decision to come home every day for lunch. Mrs. Potter’s cooking was definitely something worth making the effort to come home to. He was so engrossed with eating that he didn’t notice Remus eyeing the food and Mrs. Potter thoughtfully. 

After lunch, Remus, Peter, and Mrs. Potter started to do the dishes, “But no one else – I can’t work in a kitchen this overfull with helpers!” while James went to get his Quidditch gear out for the four of them. Sirius was about to go join him until Mr. Potter pulled him aside for a talk in front of the fireplace.

“Listen, Sirius…” Mr. Potter hesitated, and Sirius immediately recognized that uncomfortable look that James always got when talking to Sirius about Remus. Mentally groaning, Sirius braced himself for an awkward conversation. No one had heard him and Remus yesterday, had they? Oh, bollocks, that would be embarrassing. “I was wondering…James still likes that Evans girl – Lily, I think – right?”

Sirius frowned, wondering where this was going. “Oh, yeah. James thinks they’re right soul mates.”

Mr. Potter nodded, but still seemed an odd mix of uncomfortable and concerned. “Well, I was just wondering because…well, you two are quite close and all, and I was wondering if you’ve ever…”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “Oh, _that_? No! Never!” _Gross_. Sirius nearly gagged at the thought of doing anything like _that_ with James. “No, Mr. Potter, James is like my brother. Well, not my real brother, he’s a right Slytherin twat. But, a better brother – the brother I never I had. I wouldn’t _ever_ think about him like… _that_.”

Mr. Potter breathed a heavy sigh of relief, and Sirius wondered for a moment if he should be insulted that James’ dad was so relieved that his son was straight. “It’s not that I have a _problem_ with it, you know,” Mr. Potter continued, “It’s just…I’d want some warning. You know? Some time to sort of ease in to the whole notion, rather than have it sprung on me.”

Sirius nodded. “Yeah, no, that’s alright. James has known about Remus and I for two years, now, and he still gets a little…” Sirius searched for the right word.

“Befuddled?” Remus appeared behind Sirius’ shoulder, helpfully supplying the word. 

Sirius grinned back at him. “Yeah. Guess you could call it that. Befuddled.”

Mr. Potter smiled between the two boys. “Well, I’d like to think we raised James properly – his mother more than me, really – so I’m glad to see him so accepting of…” he paused, then finally waved his arms expansively, “everything.” He clasped the two boys on the shoulder, then nodded and reached for the floo. In a puff of smoke he was gone, back to his work at the Ministry. 

James chose that moment to enter the living room, holding up a box with the entirety of his Quidditch gear stacked inside. “Who’s up for a match? Come on!”

Sirius grinned, but then glanced over at Remus and hesitated. With a small smile, Remus shook his head. “I’m too tired. You three play, I’ll watch from the porch.”

Peter came in from the kitchen then, throwing himself down on the sofa. “I’m out. Talking to those women this morning, plus all the traveling I just got back from, has got me knackered. I’ll go down to the lake tomorrow with you guys,” he promised, stretching languidly, “but for today I’ll keep Remus company on the porch.”

James frowned, then turned to Sirius with his best puppy-dog eyes firmly in place. “Sirius?”

Sirius rolled his eyes and winked at Remus. “Don’t even try it, James: no one does puppy-dog like me. But,” he continued, “I’ll play with you. I’m in the mood to kick your sorry arse after this morning.”

So Sirius ended up helping James lug the Quidditch gear outside and set up a pitch, while Remus and Peter dug out a chessboard and a pile of cards for wizarding chess and exploding snap, respectively. 

As Sirius kicked off the front lawn and eyed James warily, waiting for him to make the first move, his eyes flickered down to Remus. His head was bent over the chessboard he and Peter were sitting around, obviously concentrating intently on his next move. Well, _that_ wouldn’t do.

“Stop wasting my time, Potter!” Sirius shouted, eyes flickering down to Remus again. “Get ready to have your arse handed to you!”

James laughed, clearly up for the challenge. “Yeah right, Black! You _wish_ you could best me at Quidditch!”

With that, James darted forward, quaffle tucked firmly under his arm. Sirius cut in front of him, snatching the quaffle from his hand and speeding toward the goal. He had scored ten points before James even knew what happened. “See, that, Potter?” Sirius whooped. “I can beat you blindfolded if I bother to try!”

James snatched the quaffle up, sneering. “Yeah, it’s just ten points. Let’s see you do that a few dozen more times.”

They played for two hours, Sirius ducking, weaving, diving, and rolling in attempt to widen the gap between his and James’ scores. By the time the two boys glided down and collapsed on the grass in front of the porch, the official score was 300 to 190, in favor of Sirius.

“See…that…Moony?” Sirius gasped, chest heaving as he lay flat on his back in the soft grass. A noncommittal hum reached his ears from the porch. He tilted his head back, straining his eyes to try and catch a glimpse of Remus with as little movement as possible. Remus was, apparently, focusing quite intently on his hand in exploding snap. “Moo…ny?” 

“Hm?” Remus raised his eyes, glancing down at Sirius. “It was very good, Sirius. You and James played a good game.”

Sirius’ eyes narrowed. He rolled over, inadvertently crushing James’ arm in the process. He ignored the other boy’s cries of pain as he pushed himself upright and scrambled up the porch. “Weren’t you watching me?”

This close, Sirius could tell Remus wasn’t paying as much attention to his cards as he had previously let on. He had a card in hand that matched one on the table, but hadn’t placed it down yet. In fact, Remus seemed awfully flushed for a simple game of exploding snap, periodic explosions or not.

“I was watching you. It was very…good.” Remus swallowed thickly, and Sirius watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Why don’t…” Remus hesitated, eyes flickering over to Sirius. “Why don’t you take a shower?” He wrinkled up his nose. “You could use one.”

For a moment Sirius was about to protest and pontificate on the quite delectable smell of his musky male presence, but then he noticed the way Remus’ eyes kept flickering between him and the house, and the way he was shifting in his seat. Sirius’ eyes widened. “Right. Shower. You know, that’s a great idea. I’m gonna go shower.” He glanced at Peter and James to see if they noticed anything. James was still lying on his deathbed on the grass, and Peter seemed to be dozing in the porch chair across from Remus.

As causally as he could, Sirius scrambled upstairs, barely remembering to grab a towel and a change of clothes along the way. Once inside, he tapped the shower on and stripped, then hopped from bare foot to bare foot on the tiled floors.

A minute later, the door clicked open, and Remus poked his head in. “You know, I was thinking I could use a shower, too.”

Sirius grinned, dragging Remus in and locking the door behind them. “Did you work up a sweat playing Peter in chess and exploding snap?”

Remus was stripping quickly, and when he finally straightened, Sirius saw that his eyes were darkened with lust. “No, though I _did_ get kind of hot and bothered watching a particular Quidditch match.”

“Oh yeah?” Sirius asked, backing up and stepping into the tub. Remus followed him obediently. As he slid the curtains shut, Sirius had to work hard to stifle a rather unmanly giggle that threatened to escape his mouth.  


  


**

Later that evening, James and Sirius did their best to show interest in Peter’s vacation stories – or at least not fall asleep. Mrs. Potter was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and Remus had somehow gotten out of listening to Peter by talking to Mrs. Potter quietly, and then joining her in the kitchen as she cooked. 

After dinner, Sirius and Remus feigned exhaustion and slipped away to Remus’ room, though everyone in the house shot them knowing looks before going about their evening activities. Sirius dragged Remus to bed, though he started talking before Remus had the opportunity to lean forward and snog him.

“What were you doing in the kitchen with Mrs. Potter?”

Remus leaned back, frowning. “What do you mean? I was helping her with dinner.”

Sirius rolled his eyes, as if to say: “well, yes, that was _obvious_ ”. “No, I mean, why were you in there with her instead of suffering through Wormtail’s boring stories?”

“I just wanted to help with the cooking, is all.” Remus had a funny sort of expression on his face: like he was embarrassed or hiding something. This didn’t sit well with Sirius.

Sirius crawled into Remus’ lap, settling comfortably with his legs on either side of Remus’. “Last time you tried to cook, you ended up setting the dorm on fire. And that was _s’mores_.” He reached down and traced a thumb gently over the back of Remus’ hand. “Why the sudden interest?”

“I just…”

“Don’t lie.” Sirius frowned at Remus. He could tell Remus was trying to blow this off, as if it was just some peculiar instance. But Sirius knew that Remus’ sudden interest in the culinary arts was more than that.

Remus hesitated, eyes flickering back and forth between Sirius’ two. “I…” he sighed, and appeared to deflate suddenly. “I just figured…I wanted to be able to cook for you. In case we live together, after Hogwarts.”

A grin tugged at the corner of Sirius’ mouth. “Well, I suppose I better start shadowing Mrs. Potter too, then. Wouldn’t want to poison us when you don’t have time to cook.”

“Actually…” Remus winced, and Sirius realized that there was more to this than just cooking – there was a reason this was upsetting Remus. “I mean…you’ll have a job. As an Auror or curse-breaker or something.”

Sirius frowned. “And you will, too. Researcher or healer or professor or something.”

But Remus was shaking his head sadly. “No, I won’t.” His gaze flickered down to their laps, and he kept his eyes resolutely there for the rest of what he had to say. “With the way the laws are, I won’t be able to get a job in the wizarding world _or_ muggle. I might get lucky and get a university scholarship, but after that…” Remus shrugged. “I figured I better get good at being…you know…” his voice dropped to a whisper “…a housewife.”

Anger flared within Sirius: at Remus, at the Ministry, at Greyback; at everything and everyone that had ever made Remus experience a second’s worth of pain in his life. “Remus!” Sirius grabbed Remus’ chin and jerked his head up, forcing him to look Sirius in the eyes. “You will _not_ be a housewife. You’re going to go on, and get a job at Hogwarts, or inventing new charms, or…” his mind groped for another suggestion. “Or even,” Sirius’ eyes lit up, “even becoming a…an advocate for werewolves! You could get all the laws changed, all the ones that are unfair.”

Remus shrugged, though Sirius could tell that he wasn’t convinced. “Okay, Sirius. If you say so.”

Doing his best to quell the anger and fierce protectiveness that flared up within his chest, Sirius pulled Remus into a hug, kissing his head before burying his nose in Remus’ hair. “Whatever you want to do, Remus,” he whispered, “whatever you want, I will make happen. If you want to be my housewife, that’s fine,” Sirius pulled away, a small, lopsided smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, “though you’ll have to become a better cook before I let you make dinner.” 

That earned him a small answering smile from Remus. He nodded, looking somewhat more placated by Sirius’ proclamations. “I believe you, Sirius. If anyone can make the impossible happen, it’s you.”

“This is going to sound right soppy,” Sirius warned, “but it’s not me: it’s _you_. You’re the one who makes the impossible happen. I just stand around and look good.”

Remus smiled at Sirius, a thin veil of tears filling up his eyes.

“ _That’s_ a perineum?! _Sick_!”

Sirius and Remus started, glancing toward the door. James’ voice carried through to them from what sounded like his bedroom. Remus groaned, covering his face in his hands. “Looks like James did some research,” Sirius teased.

“Great. I’ll never hear the end of it, tomorrow.”

Sirius kissed Remus on the forehead, before climbing off the bed and rummaging through Remus’ stuff. “D’you have a spare nightshirt I could wear?”

“Your room is three meters away,” Remus pointed out from the bed.

Sirius emerged, triumphant, with two nightshirts in hand. “Yeah, but I’d have to walk all the way across the _hall_ …” Sirius complained, stripping quickly. “Plus, I know you think I look all sexy in your clothes.”

Remus blushed three shades of pink at that. He tried to cover it up by pulling his shirt over his head and getting changed for bed himself, but Sirius saw anyway. Suitably dressed, Sirius climbed into Remus’ bed and kissed him on the nose. “Love your blush.”

“Hush,” Remus chastised. He turned away from Sirius, facing the wall. Sirius could tell by the set of his back that he wasn’t actually upset, Remus was just trying to rile him up. 

Sirius threw an arm over Remus, pulling him into his body. With a rather melodramatic sigh, Remus turned over and looked up at Sirius. The room had grown dark in the hour since dinner, though the moon was still fat enough in the sky to light up the room. With a sleepy smile, Remus pressed forward and kissed Sirius on the lips. Then he pulled back and Sirius watched as his eyelids fluttered shut as he fell asleep.

Sirius lay awake for a long time after that, watching the faint moonlight trickle in through their window. Remus was clutching at him in his sleep: both arms wrapped tight around Sirius’ left. Even though Remus seemed to be coping, Sirius wasn’t. He just…he sighed, glancing over at Remus’ sleeping face. Even in sleep, his brow was furrowed: just a tiny, thin line visible between his eyebrows. On impulse, Sirius shifted over and placed gentle kiss to the line. When he pulled away, Remus’ face was smooth, lips twitching into either a smile or subconscious reciprocation of the gesture. 

It must have been approaching midnight when a pecking at the window jolted Sirius out of his reverie. Sliding out of Remus’ grasp as gently as carefully as he could, Sirius padded over to the window and slid it open. A large barn owl was there: a standard school one, by the looks of it. But who would be sending him an owl from school in the middle of the summer? 

The owl hooted softly, dropped the package on the nightstand, and took off. No payment expected, then. Sirius picked up the package and turned it over in his hands. It was wrapped in brown paper, and appeared to be about the size and shape of a book. It was addressed to both him and Remus, though nothing else was written on the package.

“Si-rus?” Remus was sitting up in the bed, eyes blinking blearily. Sirius felt a sudden rush of love for the young man in front of him. His hair was sleep tussled, sticking up every which way. He was rubbing one eye sleepily, looking for all the world like something Sirius just wanted to wrap up and protect from anything hurtful ever touching him. Some back part of his mind noted that these feelings were growing more and more common with every passing day.

“Hey, Remus.” He crawled back into bed, sliding under the sheets and tangling his legs with Remus’. “We got a package.”

Remus managed to haul himself upright, though by the grumbling and complaints that he voiced, Sirius knew he’d much rather have just fallen back to sleep. “For both of us?”

Sirius handed over the small, brown package. “It’s not from James, or Peter. Looks like it was sent from Hogwarts, but I dunno who’s up there during the summer.”

The frown line that Sirius had earlier kissed away reappeared between Remus’ eyebrows, more pronounced than before. “No one is. No students, at least. It’s not allowed.”

“Maybe Pomfrey?”

But Remus was already shaking his head. “This isn’t Pomfrey’s handwriting. Or McGonagall’s, or Flitwick…this isn’t any of our teachers’ handwriting.”

Sirius shrugged. “Well, no matter. Open it; maybe there’s a card inside or something.”

Remus slotted a finger beneath the brown paper packaging, slitting it open. Sirius shifted and pulled himself a little more upright. One hand came to rest on Remus’ leg as Sirius watched him open the package, running small, concentric circles on the pajama-clad thigh. The packaging came away, revealing a book, titled: I, Werewolf, by Rhea Silva. Sirius shared a glance with Remus. “Open it up; see if there’s a card,” he prompted Remus.

Sure enough, as they opened up the cover of the book, a small card slipped out. 

_Dear Remus (and Sirius, as I’m sure he is reading this over your shoulder),_

_ While perusing a little-known bookstore the other day, I stumbled across this text. I found it most informative on many of the misunderstood issues of lycanthropy, and thought you might want to have a look – for medical reasons, of course.  _

_ -Albus Dumbledore _

Remus slid his eyes slowly over to Sirius’. “Do you think…he…”

Sirius’ eyes widened. “You think he _knows_? About…” he waved between the two of them. Remus’ face was slowly turning more and more red. “Oh, gross! How did he find out?”

Remus shot Sirius a look. “Well, we do have [rule six fourteen](http://amuly.livejournal.com/30377.html)…”

Sirius opened and shut his mouth rapidly, before grinning. “Oh. Right. And there was that time McGonagall caught us. And Pomfrey knows…” he cut off, glancing over at Remus. “Does _everyone_ know?”

Remus bit his lip and frowned. “I…I think so.” His face turned red. “Oh, Merlin. Do you figure we’re the poster-boys for homosexuality at Hogwarts?”

Sirius snorted. “Well, we would be sexy on a poster. Oh!” Sirius bounced on the bed in mock-excitement. “Do you think we could do a whole calendar and sell it? 1976: Going to the Dogs.” 

Remus shoved at Sirius, moving to turn the page in the book. “We are _not_ making a calendar.” He shivered. “I don’t like the thought of Lucius or someone _wanking_ over pictures of us.”

Sirius guffawed at that. “I dunno, he’s a bit of alright, even if he’s completely evil. What would be _worse_ would be someone not as fit. Like McGonagall!”

Both boys groaned loudly at the thought, screwing up their noses in disgust. “Ew! Sirius! I could have lived my entire life happy without thinking about McGonagall…” he waved his hand, “Doing… _stuff_.”

“How d’you reckon girls do it, anyway? Do they shove their fingers up there? Is there a girl prostate?”

Remus slapped Sirius on the arm. “We are _not_ talking about girl bits. In case you hadn’t noticed, I have absolutely _zero_ interest in girl bits.” He gestured at the book. “Now if we could focus for a moment, we could get back on the subject of _our_ bits, and what sorts of fun things we might do with them in the near future.”

Sirius bent his head studiously over the novel. “Right. Excellent idea. Reading the book.” 

_ Introduction by the Author: _

_ I’m not going to bother writing this in third person, because I’m not going to keep up the pretense that anyone in the publishing industry approves of me or my book. My name is Rhea Silva, and I am a werewolf. I was infected as a teenager, when I was attacked one night. I was with my boyfriend at the time, and we had snuck out to have a stroll. He died, I lived. _

_ I’m writing this book based on my own life experiences, which are now considerable at my current age of 52. I’ve gathered as many facts as I can from outside sources, although the majority are contradictory at best, downright bigoted and hateful at worst. My only hope is that this book helps out other werewolves in their lives, and dispels so many of the myths and fears about our kind. _

“Remus,” Sirius whispered. “Look at the dedication.” He had flipped the page while Remus was still reading the preface, holding it up and reading as best he could under it. It was a common practice among the two of them: Sirius was the speed-reader, who could skim for content with skill. Remus preferred to take his time reading, setting a more leisurely pace. 

He obediently flipped the page, reading aloud the dedication. “To my wonderful husband and daughter, who have supported me and my condition for so many years…” His eyes shot up to meet Sirius’ – he could see tears welling in Remus’ eyes. “She…she could get pregnant. And the child…”

“It doesn’t sound like she’s infected.” Sirius’ grin was broadening by the second. “Remus, it _can’t_ be sexually transmitted: not if her daughter doesn’t have it!”

Remus laughed. Sirius’ heart was pounding furiously. He watched as the tears in Remus’ eyes threatened to spill over. He was still laughing, but it was starting to sound more like shaking sobs. Sirius pulled Remus into a tight hug, breathing in his scent and kissing his neck. “We _can_ , Remus. It’s safe. She has a husband, and a daughter. She’s published a book, even. Remus,” Sirius pulled back, and saw that the tears had breached their walls, and were tracking lines down Remus’ face. “Remus, love, we can live a normal life.”

A bubble of half-laughter, half-sob burst its way out of Remus. “As normal as a gay Black in Gryffindor with a werewolf partner can be.”

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. “By ‘normal’ I meant ‘fantastically extraordinary with loads of shagging’.”

Remus nodded. “Of course. I forgot about the fifth alternative definition of ‘normal’.”

Sirius’ breath hitched as he watched the tears slowly abate their flow until they finally stopped. Swiftly he leaned forward and lapped at the tears, kissing them away until there was no trace of them. If only he could fix all of Remus’ problems that way – make it so that no trace of their ephemeral existence remained.

Beneath him, Remus’ breath hitched, though Sirius could tell he wasn’t starting to cry again. No, this was a _good_ hitch, the sort that made Sirius bite back a groan as his blood rushed southward to fill his cock. “Remus,” he whispered, letting his lips trail across Remus’ face until they found his lips, then pressing against them passionately. Remus whimpered, then moaned as he opened his mouth to Sirius and sucked on his lower lip.

Sirius’ hand snaked its way beneath the sheets, first palming Remus’ obvious arousal through his pajama bottoms, then moving to roughly strip them away.

“Wait, wait, Sirius. We have to make sure…” Sirius groaned, pulling away.

“Make sure what?”

Remus shot him a desperate, hungry look, and in that instant Sirius knew he was as eager as himself to get on with this – he just needed to make sure. “I still want to check about aggression during sex, about that whole alpha problem.”

Sirius surged forward and kissed Remus soundly. It was with great reluctance that he pulled away, resting his forehead against Remus’. “Alright, love. Read it to your heart’s content. I’m here.” He opened his eyes to see tears brimming again in Remus’. Gently he pressed his lips to Remus’ eyelids; stroked a hand down his face. 

As they parted Sirius glanced at the book. “I suppose you’ll want to read all of it?” he asked, surveying the thickness of the volume with distaste.

A hungry smile crept across Remus’ face. “Yeah. But as soon as I’m done…”

Sirius sighed, flopping back onto the pillow. “Yeah, but you won’t be done within the next half hour, will you?”

He watched as Remus turned the book sideways and examined its thickness for himself. “Even _you_ couldn’t read this in half an hour.” Remus shrugged, reaching over Sirius to set the book on the little nightstand next to the bed. “I guess we’ll just have to be patient.” He curled around Sirius, pressing himself to his side and throwing an arm over Sirius’ chest.

“I guess…” 

“But,” Remus’ breath was hot on Sirius’ ear, “I _should_ be able to finish it tomorrow, if you let me alone all day. Which means…” 

Sirius’ cock twitched and he shifted, grumbling. “Tomorrow night, then?”

“If everything’s safe.”

Pressing a kiss to Remus’ soft hair, Sirius breathed deep, and finally fell asleep.  
  
  


**

That morning, Sirius ripped James and Peter away from Remus with unprecedented urgency. “Come on! Wormtail, you wanted to go to the lake, yeah? Then let’s go to the lake!”

Peter was otherwise occupied with sipping his morning tea slowly and making light breakfast conversation with Remus. “Well, do you figure Advanced Arithmacy would be _that_ hard? I mean, _Lucius_ took it, and he’s no you.”

Remus shrugged, looking for all the world like he was enjoying his and Peter’s leisurely conversation. Sirius, however, could pick up on all the minute signals. The way a single, elegant index finger was stroking the rim of his teacup; the way he sat leaning _just slightly_ away from Peter, as if he were tensing to jump out of his chair and away from the conversation. 

“Pete, _come on_.” Sirius was practically dragging Peter out of the chair, away from Remus. How was Remus supposed to get any reading done today if all they did was distract him? And of course he couldn’t just _tell_ Peter to leave Remus alone, in the interest of his and Sirius’ long-awaited sexy-times. Sirius had been all for showing the book to James and Peter, but Remus objected.

_“Padfoot, think about it.”_

_“I_ am _thinking about it,” Sirius grumbled, shifting to adjust the semi that wouldn’t go away, even after a_ spectacular _morning frotting session. “Been thinking about it since we got the blasted book.”_

_“Sirius,” Remus cupped Sirius’ face in his hands, amber eyes wide with sympathy. “We’ve only had the book for seven hours. And six of those were spent asleep.”_

_“But why can’t we tell them?”_

_Remus’ hand dropped away from Sirius’ face as the brown-haired young man glanced around the room. “You know how they are...” a flush spread up his neck as he glanced back to Sirius. “I don’t want them to know that we’ve…you know.”_

_Sirius’ frustration abated as he watched Remus shift uncomfortably. Stepping closer, he pressed his lips to Remus’ in a chaste kiss. “Alright. They don’t have to know.”_

James, upon seeing Sirius’ impatience – though the cause behind it remained a mystery to him – jerked his head toward the door. “Yeah, come on Wormtail. Time to tan that pasty skin.”

Sirius laughed. “Eh, more likely to just burn, right Wormy?” Aha! _That_ got Peter’s attention, even if it was just a glare. Sirius pressed forward. “Your sorry arse probably’ll just sink to the bottom of the lake, won’t it? Oh, wait,” a wicked grin crossed Sirius’ face. “I forgot: fat floats.”

With a roar Peter was off, chasing after Sirius, who fled down to the lake. James followed the two boys out into the sunlight, racing toward the lake with them. As Sirius glanced back over his shoulder, just before the house vanished from sight, he caught a glimpse of Remus’ face peering out after them from the attic window. 

Hours later, Sirius was lying on the lakeshore, exhausted and sweaty. The sun was at its zenith, and beat down onto his skin. He rolled listlessly on his back on the grass, enjoying the tickle of it over his bare skin. 

“Look like Padfoot, doing that,” James commented from somewhere under the shade of the big tree. 

In response, Sirius brought his arms and legs up into the air, kicking them like his canine alter-ego. “Woof!”

A shadow crossed across his face, and Sirius opened his eyes, squinting. Immediately he had to shut his eyes again against the blinding glare of the sun. Sitting up, Sirius shaded his eyes with a hand and opened his eyes more carefully. Fluttering in front of him was a paper butterfly: one of the devices Mrs. Potter used to send the boys messages. Frowning, Sirius plucked it out of the air and unfolded it. Rather than Mrs. Potter’s flowering handwriting, he was confronted with Remus’ more wispy script.

_Ready. In the attic._

_-Remus_

_ PS: Bring lube _

Sirius felt a powerful jolt of lust wrack him. He jumped up, glancing around for some sort of excuse. 

“Is the note from Mrs. Potter?” Peter was lying under the tree with James, watching Sirius warily with blonde hair askew. 

“No, um…” Sirius fumbled for an excuse. “Remus wanted me to help with, um, research.”

Peter rolled his eyes, but fell back down onto the grass with a wet thump. James waved Sirius away without even looking up. 

With the note still clutched firmly in his hand, Sirius raced off, back to the Potter residence. When he arrived the house was quiet – Mrs. Potter had mentioned she might have some errands to run that day, and the boys were to “behave themselves” while she was away. Sirius clambered up the two sets of stairs to the attic, – taking a quick detour to grab a tube of lube from his trunk – bursting in with unbridled enthusiasm. 

And there was Remus.

Sirius’ feet and heart both stopped at the sight that greeted him on the other side of the attic door. Remus was curled up on a spare mattress in the center of the attic, legs crossed under him, book in his lap. Dust swirled in little eddies around his head, and with the sunlight streaming in from a single open window, they lit him up with a sort of golden aura. He had an inkpot and quill on the floor next to the mattress, which he had apparently been using to mark things in his book. His fingers were ink-stained, and there was a black smudge under one eye, where he must have rubbed without realizing it. 

Remus’ head whipped up, face breaking into a grin as he caught sight of Sirius. He hadn’t even remembered to throw proper clothes on as he raced back, and suddenly Sirius felt underdressed in just his swim shorts. The air in the attic cooled his skin as he felt the heat from the sun slowly roll off of him. He felt his nipples pebbling as he stood there, and blushed lightly in embarrassment. 

“You got my note?”

Sirius walked slowly, almost reverently, over to the mattress. “Yeah.” He reached forward and brushed a cobweb from Remus’ hair, hand lingering on Remus’ head. 

Remus’ grin widened even more, if possible. “This book is perfect, Sirius. It has everything we could ever need to know about werewolves. And all _proper_ information, too.”

Sirius hummed noncommittally as he listened to Remus pick-up steam. 

“Oh, and our theory about Dumbledore knowing? Absolutely confirmed.” Remus grinned up at Sirius from the dusty old mattress. He held something between thumb and forefinger; it took Sirius another few seconds before he focused enough to figure out what it was. 

“A phoenix feather? From Fawkes, you think?”

Remus shrugged. “Probably, right? And it was slipped in, _conveniently_ bookmarking Chapter 8, which was ‘Sexy Beast: Dispelling all those nonsense myths about sex with a werewolf’. He _definitely_ knows why we needed this book.”

Sirius dropped down to his knees, kicking up a cloud of dust and sending Remus into a sneezing fit. “Can we not talk about Dumbledore knowing we’re shagging? It’s quite the turn-off.”

Remus mock shrugged. “Oh, well, if you’re turned-off I guess all of this new information I read can wait…” He made to get up, before Sirius threw himself atop him and kept him pinned to the mattress.

“Can’t wait, nope. Still completely aroused – all thoughts of Dumbledore are out of my head. No room in there for anything except my Remus.”

Scrunching up his nose, Remus stuck his tongue out at Sirius’ soppy proclamation. “Poofter. Well, Dumbledore is beside the point. Look at all the information I got.” The book lay open next to Remus and he grabbed for it, shoving it under Sirius’ nose.

“It can’t be transmitted and you won’t hurt me, right?” Sirius was already nuzzling at Remus’ neck, hands sliding down to rest on bony hips.

“Well, sure, that’s the basics, but there’s so much else!” Remus was riffling through the already extensively dog-eared tome.

Sirius groaned, trying to kiss Remus on the lips, but finding himself forced to settle with trailing a line of kisses down Remus’ jaw as he pulled away and pointed at the book.

“Wait, Sirius, and look at this part.” Remus struggled away from Sirius’ fingers, which were busy trying to snake their way under his shirt. “She says that three to four days before the full moon, she _does_ get more aggressive during sex, and even hornier. She says her husband just lets her take control and, uh, ‘be on top’ - though I guess that just means _physically_ on top, not like, inserting things…” Remus trailed off as he scanned the page, “at least I don’t think…Anyway, but she says even day of full, she’s never so aggressive that she hurts her husband or anything during sex. And it’s not just women, either! She knows a male werewolf who says he’s the same way, but he’s never hurt _his_ wife. No mention of gay couples, but then again, if there had been I would have been positively floored. So, we’ll probably just have to end up switching around: I’ll top just before full, if I feel like it, and whoever can top any other time of the month.”

Sirius gave up all foreplay and ripped his own shorts off, throwing them across the room. He leaned forward and ripped Remus’ shirt off next, sending buttons flying. Before Remus could even start, Sirius was there, clapping a hand over Remus’ mouth and staring into his eyes. “I’ll sew them back on. All I care about now is who’s gonna top _right now_.”

Sirius’ eyes dropped as they followed Remus’ Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed thickly. Carefully, Sirius peeled his hand away from Remus’ mouth in order to let him answer. “Um…why don’t…why don’t you…”

“You want me to…to _you_ …” Sirius went a little light-headed at the thought, blood rushing quickly south. “I…” he swallowed thickly. “You sure?”

With a blush and ducked head, Remus nodded. “Yeah. I…I like it when you’re…on top of me…” he peered up through his fringe of golden-brown hair at Sirius. “I like feeling your weight on me.”

Sirius surged forward, kissing Remus firmly. Oh _Merlin_. He…Remus wanted him. Sirius was going to be on top, and inside Remus, and… “Fuck, damn it. Remus, we have to…I can’t…” Sirius growled as he pulled away, hand gripping the base of his erection firmly. “I don’t know if I can last…” Just the _thought_ of getting to do that to Remus was sending Sirius to the edge all-too-quickly.

But Remus was looking up at him with pleading eyes. “I _need_ to do this, Sirius. Just…if it’s over in a _second,_ it’s okay.” He slid out of his jeans as he lay there, before sitting up. He crawled onto Sirius’ lap, eyes fluttering as their naked arousals met. “I…” he leaned forward, lips brushing the shell of Sirius’ ear. A shudder ripped through Sirius as he felt Remus’ hot breath. “I need to feel you in me.”

Sirius pushed Remus off of him with a cry, scrambling to climb on top and kiss Remus into oblivion. Their hips rolled against each other violently, bony hipbones bruising tender flesh. 

Abruptly, Sirius pulled back, hands scrambling around for the lube. He hitched Remus’ legs up onto his shoulders, glancing down at him. “I…I have to prepare you first. Otherwise it’ll hurt.”

Remus nodded, eyes wide and darkened with lust. With shaking fingers Sirius managed to uncap the bottle and squeeze too much into his fingers. He pressed one forward into Remus without preamble – there would be no teasing foreplay today. Remus bore down on his finger, then relaxed, hips undulating softly.

“That’s fine. Second finger.”

Sirius nodded, pushing his second lubricated digit in. A moment of discomfort passed across Remus’ face, but his hips continued to thrust down steadily, until he nodded again. “D’you think…three?”

Sirius glanced down at his weeping erection, then at the two fingers buried inside Remus. “Yeah. I think we should. So it won’t hurt.”

Remus nodded, and Sirius slid a third finger inside. This time Remus shifted slightly. Sirius stilled, holding his fingers inside. “Are you…” he noticed Remus’ erection had started to grow less turgid.

“It’s fine. Just getting used to it.” Remus thrust downward, then stopped. “Could you…” he reached down himself, stroking at his erection. “Could you touch my prostate? When…” he blushed, and Sirius thought he had never seen anything so beautiful. “When you press my prostate, I feel more…open.”

Sirius pulled his fingers out and reapplied more lubricant to them, before pushing two in and carefully pushing them back. After a moment of searching… “ _Ah!_ There, Sirius. G-g-good…” Remus pulled his hand away from his arousal, hips thrusting down in smooth movements onto Sirius’ fingers. “Ah – ah…Sirius, stop…”

Sirius pulled his fingers away, echoing Remus’ distressed whimpers. This was taking so _long_. Would it be like this every time?

“Alright, try the…third finger…again.”

Sirius slipped the third digit in, massaging slowly. Remus nodded, hitching his hips up further. “Better,” he breathed.

Carefully Sirius nudged his fingers apart, widening Remus’ passage. That earned a small twitch from Remus, but then his hips were moving slowly again, and he nodded.

“Ready?” Sirius pulled his fingers out, opening the lube for the last time and spreading it over his cock. He hissed at the feel of the cold gel sliding over his heated skin, and tried not to think about what he was about to do. If he did, he would come right then and there. 

Remus nodded, adjusting his legs on Sirius’ shoulders and sliding himself closer. “Ready, Sirius.”

Sirius positioned himself before Remus’ entrance, head of his cock pressing against the furled entrance. Remus’ whole body twitched, and Sirius glanced up, worry dampening his arousal. “What if it hurts you?”

Remus shook his head. “It won’t.”

“But what if it does?”

Remus grinned: a small, crooked thing. “I survive the full every month. This should be nothing.” 

Sirius leaned forward, capturing Remus’ lips in one final kiss. Then he pulled back, taking a breath. “Okay. Just relax.”

“Maybe I should be the one telling you that,” Remus teased.

One more breath, and Sirius pressed slowly forward. “Oh. _Oh_.” His eyes squeezed shut as he pressed into Remus, his entrance squeezing _tight_ and _hot_ and _perfect_ around his cock. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” His orgasm threatened to crest before he was even halfway inside, and Sirius had to stop. He paused, panting, and opened his eyes to look down at Remus.

Remus was so beautiful. Mouth open wide, whole face furrowed as he concentrated on the intrusion. A single eye cracked open as he felt Sirius still. “Are you…are you in?”

Sirius shook his head. “Halfway.”

“ _Fuck_.” Sirius watched as Remus swallowed shakily. “Ease…ease in…the rest. Don’t just…”

So Sirius pulled out a little, before moving back in. “Fuck, fuck, Remus…” Sirius’ hands gripped Remus’ thighs reflexively as he tried not to concentrate on the tightness enveloping him. It felt _so good_. His chest heaved, shallow breaths jerking it up and down as sweat trickled down it.

“You’re hot.” Sirius glanced down at Remus, confused for a moment before the young man laughed and continued. “No, I mean, inside. I can feel…you feel warm. Hot.”

Sirius grinned. “You too. Around me, it’s…” he tried pulling back and pushing back in again, drawing a low moan out of both men. “It’s so tight, Remus. You have to try it next time. So good,” he pulled out and pushed back in again, burying himself deeper inside Remus. Beneath him, Remus keened and arched his back.

“Oh, Sirius, _there_. You just grazed it…”

Sirius pulled out and pushed back in again, studying Remus’ expression as he did so. Waves of bliss washed over Remus’ face with the inward thrust, and so Sirius kept doing it, just to see that expression on Remus’ face again. In just a few thrusts, Remus was coming, hot stickiness splattering onto his stomach.

And then… “ _Remus_!” Sirius gasped as he felt Remus clench reflexively around him. He couldn’t stand it anymore, and with one last thrust he buried himself completely inside Remus, coming explosively. His vision went white, and he collapsed, falling on top of Remus and sending up a cloud of dust from the mattress. 

As he came back to himself, he began to notice a few things. First, he was still inside Remus, even though he could feel himself going limp. He shivered at the sensation, spent cock twitching in interest. Remus groaned, alerting him to the fact that he was lying on top of him. Carefully Sirius pulled himself out as Remus bonelessly unwrapped his legs from atop Sirius. 

Sirius’ eyes widened. He watched with fascination as come, _his_ come, trickled out of Remus and onto the mattress. “Remus…” he dipped his finger in it and showed it to him. “Look, it…it came out. Of you.”

Remus refused to move, lying back on the mattress in blissful laziness. “What did you think it would do? Disappear?”

Sirius wiped his finger on the mattress and pulled himself up to lie next to Remus. He propped himself up on one elbow and stared down at him: eyes still closed, golden-brown hair sweaty and fanning out behind him. “You okay?”

Remus nodded without opening his eyes, smile slowly spreading across his face. “ _Brilliant_.” He whispered. 

“You…I mean…I think I pushed all the way in. At the end. Are you…?”

At that, Remus finally opened his eyes, glancing up at Sirius’ hovering face. “No, no, it was fine. I mean…” he shifted, eyes turning inward as he took stock. “ _Definitely_ sore. Kind of burns. And itches.” He frowned. “You know, I wouldn’t have noticed that for another few minutes if you hadn’t asked.”

“Sorry, sorry!” Sirius bent down and kissed Remus once before returning his head to his hand. “Just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”

Remus nodded, eyes sliding shut again. “Perfect, Sirius. Not exactly like I pictured it, but perfect.”

“How’d you picture it?”

Remus shrugged one shoulder. “Dunno. In the dorms, I guess. And with less…less of the specifics involved, I guess.” He opened his eyes again, looking up to Sirius. “You think we’ll get better at it, so it won’t take as long at the start? And I’ll get…” he blushed, barely noticeable under the flush that still stained his cheeks from their recent activities, “You think I’ll get better at…um…taking you? Like, looser? Or more…stretchy?”

Sirius traced a hand down Remus’ stomach, fingers playing in drying come there. “Dunno. I might just have to get better at stretching you out faster, or something.” He grinned cheekily. “I suppose we’ll have to practice.”

Remus nodded seriously. “ _Loads_.”

Sirius giggled in a rather unmanly fashion as he leaned down to snog Remus and roll on top of him. “D’you wanna try me?”

Remus considered, arms wrapped around Sirius’ back. “Not anytime soon. If you don’t mind.” Sirius shook his head. _Mind?!_ As if he could _mind_ getting to fuck Remus’ tight heat. Remus continued. “I kind of feel more like…dunno, it gets me hotter thinking of you on top of me.”

Sirius grinned broadly. “Well, _I_ get hornier when you’re beneath me.”

“Guess it worked out for the best, then?”

Sirius cocked his head. “You were saying earlier that the lady from the book liked being on top before full.”

Remus nodded, eyes lighting up at the mention of the book. “Yeah. And I do, too. At least, I think so.” He grinned. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

Sirius sighed, settling into Remus’ neck and breathing deeply. The attic smelled like dust and sex, now. Sirius thought it was a smell he could get used to. 

Remus’ voice floated down from above him, chin bumping against Sirius’ head as he talked. “We’ll have to thank Dumbledore.”

Sirius groaned. “There you go, mentioning old Dumbles again.” He pushed himself upright. “And here I was, ready for another go, and you’ve gone and poured a bucket of cold water over my bits.”

Remus rolled his eyes and pulled Sirius back down to his chest. “You’re _not_ ready again so fast. And neither is my arse, so you’ll just have to hold off a bit.”

Sirius hummed, slowly slipping to sleep even as he tried to convince his body to muster up some energy. “But,” he yawned, “we can do other things…”

Beneath him, Remus was quickly relaxing, muscles losing their tension around Sirius. “Later. Sleep, now.” Sirius’ body seemed to agree with him, and in under a minute he was asleep, Remus curled up beneath him.

** Epilogue: **

Dumbledore was humming to himself as he stared down the crossword in that day’s _Daily Prophet_. “Do any of you lot know the _Comet’s_ ’32 Seeker?”

A murmur went through the portraits in his office, before one, Headmistress Diotima, spoke up. “Harold Worthington, I believe.”

Dumbledore counted out the letters carefully. “Why, my dear, I believe you are correct. Thank you.”

He was interrupted from his contemplation of fifteen across by a tapping at his door. “Hm?” The tapping continued, followed by a faint “ _Hoot_ ”.

“Ah.” Dumbledore waved his hand, and the door opened. In flew a regal-looking owl, small and black. “Yes?”

The howl hooted at him, waving a foot in his direction after she landed on his desk. He set the _Prophet_ down, leaning forward and taking the note from her leg. The owl continued to stare at him in silent reproach. “Is there a reply expected?” The owl continued to stare. “Oh, fine.” He flipped through his desk drawers, finally coming across a small packet of anchovies. He peeled them open, eating one himself before setting the tin in front of the owl. She hooted happily, before leaning down and gobbling down the anchovies.

He looked down at the letter still in one hand.

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_ Thank you for your kind gift. It was very thoughtful of you _ .

Beneath that, in somewhat more elaborate scrawl, was:

_You’re a dirty old fiend, Dumbledore. But bloody brilliant. Thanks!_

_ -Remus Lupin _

_ and Sirius Black _

Dumbledore smiled down at the letter, quietly pleased with a job well done. A few of the portraits were sneaking around, trying to see the contents of the letter. 

Before he could reprove them, a commotion erupted from his doorway. In flew four owls, carrying between them a giant basket. They dropped it on Dumbledore’s desk, nearly taking up the whole space. He stared, befuddled for a moment, at the basket. As he peered inside through the clear wrapping, he saw packages overflowing with lemon drops, chocolate frogs, every-flavor jellybeans, and more. 

With a tap of his fingers the clear wrapping paper fell away, revealing more sweets inside. And on top of the whole pile was a picture. It was facedown, and on the back was a scrawled _Thank you!_ He turned it over, to reveal a picture of Sirius and Remus, waving enthusiastically at him and holding hands. Picture-Sirius tried to pull picture-Remus in for a snog, though picture-Remus squirmed and tried to slide away, resulting in the side of his face getting covered in enthusiastic French kisses.

“Heard about that, from the portraits back in the Black home!” The voice of Headmaster Phineas rose above the tittering of the other portraits as they leaned in to get a look at the picture. “Disgrace to the family.”

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow at the portrait. With a smug grin he unwrapped a chocolate frog and popped it into his mouth, leaning back in his chair. 

  



End file.
